Lately I have been stressing out more than normal. The move is done, the commute is good and things are settling, and just on schedule the stress hits. I have always been like this. I am pretty good at maneuvering the waters of conflict and uncertainty. However, the second things seem to calm down that is when my confidence starts collapsing and I start spinning like a gerbil in a wheel.

Mostly my indigestion is worse, I am now sleeping only about 5 hours a night again, but this time not because I have to get up too early, rather it is just nightmares. I end up worrying that Jello is going to leave, which I know logically is not true. Jello is happy here and has no plans on leaving. I also worry about finances, my parents, my siblings and even my cat’s health.

My only current real issues are probation at new job (and things are going great there, but I worry) and the move in cost. We moved in almost totally free of debt, but my prior apartment is nickle and diming us, so in the end the  move cost us about $300 or a little more. Still worth it, the new apartment is pretty great, but frustrating at how many little things we need to get that I hadn’t planned on.

Also I have a bit of anxiety hitting me on the possibility of Jello working full time. I worry I won’t see him much, I worry about money even more. I know that last part is purely stress, more money only means a better situation for us. I guess I am worried by all the change that is happening, the move, the new job, the new possible stream of income, Jello being finished with school, etc.

I will probably post later on specific items, I just wanted to put it down on “paper”. I find this helps me focus. I already feel a bit calmer. I should probably do this when I wake up from nightmares. Now that I wrote this I want to go back to bed and nap, but of course I have to leave for work in less than an hour.

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