I decided to write my dreams when I wake up awhile ago, and here is the first one (at 1:20am).
I was in a field and a bunch of us were getting ready for something. We varied in age and were just sort of mulling around waiting to graduate. Out of the blue some people’s parents showed up and there were less people graduating that were in my age group until I realized that it was some sort of high school graduation.
The banter back and forth slowly winded its way down to realizing I was the only person here that wasn’t 18 (I am my current 43 years old). I woke up panicked that I was too old to graduate and didn’t have time.
Strange dream, that even now as I type it has slowly disappeared down the rabbit hole. I didn’t dream someone else (or myself) was dying, no fighting, nothing.
I am not at all worried about my age normally. I worry about my parents and their declining health. I worry about not supporting them in a way that isn’t poverty, and I assume this is part of my anxiety.
I think I also worry about Jello and not being enough in that category either. That I will not be able to provide for him.
I know I shouldn’t worry too much, hell I have at least 25 more years before I can consider retiring, so its not like I don’t have a huge chunk of time.
Honestly, it is probably just the stress from the move, new job, new place, new situations. Either way things have calmed down now that it is about 1:40am. Back to bed for me, hopefully if I have a bad dream next time, it is less “nameless anxiety” and more something that deserves to be having a bad dream about. At least getting up and writing it out extinguished the anxiety for more quickly then laying in bed would have.