I have been preparing last couple weeks for my upcoming FFS operation on 4/26 so while I have a ton of posts I want to talk about, things have been quiet. That is until today.
Today I was walking through Safeway when I saw an old coworker from the ESD. She worked in a different position in the department, but we both saw each other a lot and she was pretty fantastic. She had evidently left the ESD last month.
I hadn’t seen her since I had been fired, and we chatted for awhile. I asked about how things were after I left and if anything had been said. She just shook her head, not wanting to talk about it, but did say I should probably sue them.
It is nothing I didn’t expect. I knew they were two-faced to me after I was let go, and I knew they probably said things. However, she was able to give me enough extraneous details to know I was absolutely right and I found it really hurt my feelings again.
The hard part is logically I know it doesn’t matter what they say, they will never appear on a job application I put out, they are nothing. I have a hard time emotionally separating though. I believe when I work for someone they deserve 100% from me, and I know they have my back. Of course this isn’t true in white collar world (well in most of the world in general) but my youth around people who did believe in each other 100% sort of ill-prepared me.
So here I am frustrated, angry and saddened all by a job that I have let go, that had a much larger commute and paid me close to $30k less a year. I don’t want the job, it just hurts that they said vile things about me and my transition behind my back.
It is one thing to think they said it, another to have confirmation… today sucks. I will be back later today or tomorrow with a slew of posts to maybe cleanse the negative feeling I have right now.