Frustrations at work

Yesterday was quite the frustrating thing. I was dressed up in my blue striped dress, my hair was made up and I had good makeup on.

I went out to a non-profit agency with a second monitor who looks at different things. I was there to audit them and I had steeled myself to get looks or actually verbally misgendered (it’s happened before).

We came in and they weren’t polite, but when they realized we were there to audit them they were perfectly nice. While I think I got some side-eyed looks from them, I didn’t get anything overt and that was all I can ask.

My coworker was the one who actually called me he four different times in about 15 seconds. It was so jarring that even the agency I was auditing looked surprised. They looked me up and down and then back to my coworker.

Finally I got her to stop talking and I corrected her using a masculine pronoun. She did look horrified when she realized she had called me he repeatedly. At least I do t believe it was intentional and we went on with what we were doing.

I thought it was done with it (she only used she after apologizing profusely). I am not mad at her, but I woke up mad in general early this morning.

I am now just angry in general and then even more angry with myself for not being able to put it away… circle of self-loathing is strong today.

Just had to put it out here and go back to work. Hopefully now I can let it go.