I woke up a little while ago from a bizarre, borderline nightmare dream involving a small house in the middle of nowhere and Wolsey and I were both pre-transition (he was still my wife and I was his husband).
The house was this small one or two bedroom in the middle of nowhere. We had gotten there and I think we were supposed to be living there now. We went into the bedroom, a tiny almost shack like room that was dusty, cramped, and seemed odd.
I notice at first that the far wall, which should be facing the outside had no windows. Wolsey was busy trying to nail up part of a plywood inner wall that seemed to have bowed open on that far wall. I walked over to Wolsey to see if I could help and they sort of shooed me away gently. W used the same voice they always use when trying to protect me from something. The same voice when there is a dead animal we are walking by and they are trying to keep me from looking at it or noticing it.
Yes, W is a sweetie, always trying to keep me from feeling bad about something like that.
I noticed how W was talking and I just super focused in on it. I asked what they were doing. They mumbled something innocent. I looked at the board they were reattaching to the wall and noticed there was a lot of space on the other side (which had a window at what would be the outside wall of the house).
I realized that someone had cut off a portion of the room with plywood, to board up something in that small area. It was why there was no window on what at first I thought was the outside wall, and why the bedroom seemed so cramped.
I turned and looked at him… “Is there a grave in that part of the room?”
I had no inkling of what it was, no clue but that is what came up and they just nodded. I was now officially uncomfortable living in the house. What the fuck is there a grave inside a house? However that confusion didn’t stop the dream and we kept working on the wall. The air in the other room was cooler and had a musty smell even though there was a window and it faced the sun so should have had the warmth on it.
Next thing I know there was a jump and I found W and myself at some later point laying in that same bed making out like we were teenagers. W stopped me and said they had to go get something.
So we stopped and as W got up I noticed there was another woman in our bed, asleep on her side, on the other side of the bed. I glanced over at the plywood wall and noticed it was ajar. As W headed into the other part of the room I made a motion at the lady in our bed and W just shrugged.
I glanced over where the grave was and had a really really bad feeling in my gut. I am fairly sure at this time I was starting to wake up and there was some coherent thought creeping in. I turned to the girl, not knowing who she was and gingerly leaned over and poked her gently. She began to roll over and that is all I know.
I don’t know what happened, what she looked like or what I did, as I woke up at this point trying not to scream in real life. I suspect it is probably good I don’t remember, I don’t get the impression waking up that it was a good thing that happened.
Upon waking up, I am not sure if I woke W up in real life. I do know he rolled over as I tried to get my heart to stop pounding in my head. I was covered in goose bumps and I had to concentrate not to cry. I still don’t know what the hell I saw or happened, but I am probably happy I don’t know.
I feel much better now, especially after writing this out (writing it out helps a lot from some night terrors I get). So now I get to go and start work.
A Girl U Should Know 