I promise I am alive

I swear I meant to keep up, but life gets busy and my medical stuff has been on such a high level of visits that I haven’t had time. However, I think I want to catch up a little before I start moving forward with new subject posts.

I just looked at the website and evidently I am not quite as far behind as I worried about, what has happened was Thanksgiving. It went fantastically. I got to spend time at home with the hubby, and a full thanksgiving dinner including an updated yams recipe that he does really well. So basically I put on about five pounds, but they are happy pounds and to be honest my ass is starting to look pretty good, and I got actually feminine hips.

You get a face pic because I don’t have a pic of my ass or hips… yet.

Work is work, I work from home 32-40hours a week (it is 32 due to medical appointments when those weeks are 32). I have been able to put aside a particularly horrible monitoring/audit and move on. It is true we will have to go back to it, but the break is nice. Also I want to say my coworkers have been decent. I have some pretty supportive coworkers, and the rest leave me alone which works for me.

Medical has been a little rougher. I am falling down regularly. two or three times a week as in full floor smacking, and a couple times a day I catch myself but no damage or fall. The weird thing is I don’t feel dizzy, I am just moving and next thing I know I am on the ground trying to figure out what the fuck happened.

The one thing about it that truly worries me a little is over the last couple of weeks I had a hard time getting back up. Last week I face-planted off the tv cabinet and laid there for a moment. I couldn’t get my legs to respond (actually I think it was only my left one). It was only for a very short time, but for a few seconds I had to concentrate and almost “feel” for my leg. It doesn’t happen all the time (the leg not responding thing) but that is a new development that does make me uncomfortable.

The other non-transitioning issue I am dealing with is the vomiting multiple times a day. Been happening for years, but it is just wearing on me. I have seen multiple doctors and been through multiple tests only to have no definitive mechanical problem except for some esophagus laxity and motility issues where it connects with my stomach. Sadly the cardio-thoracic surgeon hoped the new testing would give him a shot at fixing it, but no such luck. He is willing to fix the hernia in the future, but until the vomiting is under control he is worried I would not keep the hernia repair. Not sure where I am going with this problem except go back to my GI specialist and maybe find something else.

I do know one thing though, my anxiety makes the vomiting worse (I don’t believe it is the cause, but it contributes). So judicious use of edibles does seem to help (and is probably how I put back on 5lbs that I needed to gain). Sadly for my anxiety and vomiting that self-medication may be the only way to do it (I don’t want schedule drugs to fix it, not worth it.

Oh and I broke my temporary crown the Tuesday before thanksgiving. I have no pain, I was fortunate I only got the filling part that broke, but next Friday they are going to have me come in to start the real crown process before it gets worse. Damn all those medical problems I put off for decades are all rushing in at me. 🙂

I guess that is the “quick” catchup of my life, mostly whining about medical, but that is ok. If I can keep this up I can talk about transition stuff, and happy things :).

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