Dreams: Stuck at an airport

As a background, I haven’t talked to my sister at all since May of 2020, and only four times before that after my parents died in 2016 (even before that it was less than a couple times a year).

I was somehow traveling through an airport in a super cold place, but it was also a desert and ended up at the airport. I got trapped at the airport without my credit card. I had somehow misplaced it, or someone had taken it.

At this airport is a giant pool. Above this pool is a lobby that isn’t walled off from it. It sits like a mezzanine overlooking the pool, no wall, no railing, no nothing. There is at the edge of the water a concrete pillar that goes out of the water and up to the second floor lobby. A ladder runs up that pillar from the water.

Somehow while at the airport, looking for the credit card as I meet various people we are also living there above that lobby. It was a similar setup to where I lived as a child in Everett in an old mansion-like building. This whole time I kept rifling the lobby’s couches looking for my credit cards. I kept finding other people’s credit cards but not mine, so we were still there stuck for the entire dream.

At some point my sister showed up and she was angry that I kept jumping off the lobby ledge and into the pool, swim around then go back up to the lobby via the ladder on the pillar. She was also carrying around some huge stuffed animal, but I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was or why.

She decided to go tell my parents on me in the apartment area above the pool and lobby and locked the door to the room they were in (it was the door to the bathroom of that apartment from my childhood, sort of weird). She was tattling on me or trying to get me in trouble.

Meanwhile, I found my credit card but found myself the next moment on the concrete pillar, but it was a lot taller. Instead of being about 10 feet up above the pool, it was 40 or 50 feet up from the pool, and about 30 feet up above the lobby. The ladder down wasn’t accessible easily and I was afraid to try and climb down it for fear of falling

That is where my dream ended, with me trapped on the pillar, in an airport, above a pool 50 feet below (that I didn’t think was deep enough to dive into) having been desperately looking for a lost credit card that I finally found, but also now worried my parents were going to be mad at me for whatever reason.

Yes, it was disjointed and I am processing shit. I haven’t talked to her in 8 months and not much before then. I have just heard she got married a month ago, and then her husband passed away a week ago (unexpectedly). So undoubtedly it has a lot to do with hearing about her.

I have avoided talking about most of my issues with her, but honestly that is probably going to be done here at some point. My therapist is slowly digging into my family, and evidently I need to vent here.

Porky’s… or WTF did I just watch?

A lot of my media reviews are just twitter-based, not much to say. Some however wrap up into memories of my childhood, such as rewatching old movies or maybe seeing media that was recommended to me back then but I had actually never seen before now. Porky’s is the first one in this new set of media reviews to hit that spot.

I grew up in the 70s and 80s, surrounded by exploitation films. I don’t remember any of them being great (evidently a lot of Gen X did remember them being great) but they were part of the stacks of VHS tapes we would rent when I was a pre-teen to a teenager.

Currently, I am on a kick of watching the movies we rented as a kid to see if they work for me still. Sadly a lot don’t, but I think some might (at least I hope Vamp, Conan, etc do work when I get to them), and there have been some huge successful rewatchings for things like Aliens. Aliens always wins.

So I was looking through our Amazon Prime options and I see Porky’s. I already know it is going to be bad, but I noticed it has a 4.5-star rating with 1200+ reviews. I check out the web and find it was one of the highest-grossing movies like this for the time, and evidently considered one of the most successful Canadian movies.

I don’t remember much of the movie itself. We consumed 6-10 videos a weekend when my dad had the money to rent them, and it was one of those movies I think got watched on a Saturday morning with myself (age 14/15), my sister (11ish), and my little brother (5/6ish).

Yes we watch inappropriate movies all the time, but usually it was horror or war/sci-fi type movies. We didn’t go for a lot of the sleazy ones specifically.

So I watched Porky’s this morning… or should I say I watched about an hour of it before I just had to shut it off. First movie since I started this media reviewing that I couldn’t finish the show.

I don’t recall when I was a teenager that it was so sexist and downright misogynistic, although to be honest, that was fairly standard back then, so I should have expected it. I also didn’t realize it was so racist and anti-semitic. I didn’t recall any BIPoC in the movie (although that is obviously racist in itself), but the very large black man threatening the kids with the machete and the relative common use of the N word was shocking this morning… well not shocking maybe, but disappointing at the very least. Either way, totally unacceptable.

What I didn’t see coming, because I hadn’t remembered it was the anti-semitic tirade that would happen sometimes. That part of the story was about a Jewish boy that was constantly picked on and anti-semitic slurs used, by one of the other main characters. That bothered me a lot, then I realized they portrayed him as the richest of the teens as he drove off in his fancy red convertible… which falls right into stereotyping of the whole Jewish Banker thing.

Sadly it was something I would have never understood as a child. I never grew up around anyone of the Jewish faith that was close, and my parents were unique in their religious outlooks that Jewish people were never blamed for anything (in fact my dad would sometimes drunkenly proclaim that Jesus was a Jew and if Christians wanted to be serious they would stay Jewish). I know my dad had a friend who was a rabbi he would sell pot too, but he was never anything but one of my dad’s friends. I just didn’t realize the discrimination and hatred they received regularly, and it still shocks me that so much hate and ire is pointed at them.

Overall, it is a horrifically bad movie. Racist, sexist, anti-semitic with bad acting, bad production, and overall just way too raunchy and not funny. I would definitely say to stay away. Also, I removed from the watchlist the two sequels, I can’t even go there. I have also added the trailer below, and the tweet review below that.

Walking with the Enemy

Continue reading “Walking with the Enemy”

Fairly standard for being “Rogue”.

Continue reading “Fairly standard for being “Rogue”.”

Go Do Molly

Continue reading “Go Do Molly”

Dr. No is a No!

Continue reading “Dr. No is a No!”

Two wildly different encounters

The last few days have been hectic, and while I haven’t left the house much since the Tuesday before Christmas (it is now Sunday after), I had two distinctly different experiences being read as a woman.

You heard it right, it seems like twice I have not been clocked, at least not in the beginning.

The first time was more expected by me. The hubby and I were in the grocery store trying to pick up the last bits of food for upcoming Christmas Dinner (on Xmas eve, that is when we celebrate it). It was a wednesday and it wasn’t packed so we hurried on out to Safeway.

As we wandered the aisles, the hubby stepped away to get some cheese I believe. Meanwhile, I was bent over and crouched down reading the different egg nog labels in an end-cap, near a group of Safeway workers who seemed to be hauling stuff from the warehouse.

I couldn’t tell you what caught my attention, but I heard one guy (turned out to be an older, shorter guy) talking to another. I heard him say “Check her out.” I am not sure what made me start to turn and stand up, but I did.

As I turned to stand I could hear the guy start whispering harshly, “Don’t turn around, don’t turn around, don’t look.” Just as the older man finished speaking I had stood up and turned around to see what was going on, just in time for a young man, maybe in his early twenties who was standing next to me, to turn around towards me and bounce off my boobs.

The older man fled, I swear he was almost jogging to get away as I bounced back. I had seen that the younger male hadn’t even heard the older male’s words, instead his face had been fixated on my chest (I forget they are 38H, probably dysphoria) and had been so fixated on seeing what the older guy had done that I think he literally had taken a step forward, not realizing how close I was, or that I was standing up and moving towards him.

The young man’s faced became incredibly red as he quickly apologized and retreated back into the warehouse. Part of me was annoyed, I had never done that as a guy and I found the hubby to bitch about it.

It wasn’t until I was talking with him that I had assumed wrongly. I thought they were checking out the “trans girl”, but he pointed out that no, I probably wasn’t clocked in that short time and they were just acting like guys seeing boobs.

I was both weirdly annoyed and pleased about the situation. No guy should act like that, and being objectified sucks. However, it did help reassure me that maybe someday I can pass more fully. Part of me likes that objectification because it somehow proves my efforts.

The second time happened a couple hours ago when I dumped a couple of bags of garbage and a small light that died. I had gotten out of my car at the garbage area. A small meth-ridden homeless man stopped me and asked me if he could have the light. I had no problem and after talking with him I gave it to him and moved back to my car.

That is when I caught behind the garbage area (it is a walled off area) was a guy that lives in the complex with a large pit/mastiff type dog. He had been watching carefully, and it wasn’t until then that I realized as he smiled and walked off, that he was watching out to make sure I was safe.

Both the hubby and I are pretty sure he hadn’t clocked me, and that he was just making sure that the woman wasn’t harassed by the homeless guy. I almost argued with the hubby that it couldn’t be that, but the hubby was right, I wouldn’t have waited around if a guy was dumping garbage, when I was still a boy, unless something was really wrong.

Evidently the guy with the dog either thought I was cisgender, or maybe he was still worried about my feminine appearance enough that he stayed around anyways to watch over it. Either way I found it strangely nice that he had registered me as someone that needed to be watched over.

Don’t get me wrong, at 6’2″ I don’t think I was in any danger from the homeless guy, but there is something about that treatment that reassures that at least people see a feminine person when they see me. I will undoubtably get tired of the staring at my boob thing in the store, and maybe of the watching over me, but either way, that was twice this week that I was at least partially treated like someone who I feel I am would be treated in this society.

Reviewing Stuff

I have always liked writing reviews. This could be on Amazon for stuff I bought, on Meta Critic for movies or video games, or on Good Reads for books I read. It really didn’t matter, and I never thought I would be famous or make money on it, I just like doing it.

Up until I couple years ago I had a blog with several hundred media reviews called Red Band Station. The one problem I always had was writing something succintly. I tend to write on, and on (and you are probably familiar with that with my other writings). I eventually shut it down and just kept my blog.

I decided I still want to write stupid little reviews, but I thought a way to force this would be to write twitter reviews for media and anything else that came to mind. So I now started a stupid little twitter just for reviews, which I will probably crosspost here.

I have wanted to do reviews over entire series of things, it doesn’t matter if it was a 200 episode tv show, or a set of movies. This will let me do it without trying to take it too serious. After all I have no education in movies, theater, etc. All my opinions are from my poor white trash upbringing, and my more refined LGBTQ opinion nowadays.

So that was it, I just wanted to tell you that review tweets will probably be crossposted here, and I will eventually figure out how I want to organize them, but that is that.