Exhaustion

I woke up this morning at 3:19am with some weird dreams.

The hubby and I owned a mobile home. Not the same one we owned in Bellingham, more of a single wide affair. The earlier part of the dream I can’t remember very well, it had to do with my mom’s sisters and my cousins. I do know in the dream I woke up from, I was sitting there chatting with [livejournal.com profile] gelf_girl  and[livejournal.com profile] heresyoftruth was cooking something just behind us when someone started pounding on the window looking into our living room (it was at the front door as well). It was my aunt Ardis, I think it was supposed to be my aunt Ines, but she looked more like Ardis. Along with her was my father (of about 20 years ago, the more aggro version). 

[livejournal.com profile] heresyoftruth kept saying “don’t say anything, don’t let them know we are here”. Instead I opened the door and let them in. Thats when my aunt freaked out on me. It had something to do with her son (my cousin Mike) being fired because he was late to work. I kept saying back to her that it sounded like his fault. She just freaked out and started yelling at me. That is when I woke up.

I laid in bed for a little while, drifted in and out of sleep, but I was up by 4:20 with anxiety about worry for my dad. He had his neck surgery on Tuesday, everything is going well, but all of a sudden I got worried about him.

Yesterday I came home and the wife and I went to Broadway Pad Thai. It isn’t a bad little place, the food was great and it was awesome to eat out with the wife. We then went to Radio Shack and she got the necessary parts for “Project NO!! U!!!”  I picked up 3 used Xbox 360 games (I had a buy 2 get one free coupon). I ended up with Assassin’s Creed, Overlord, and The Darkness. I figured some used games will be good to tide me over until I can afford some of the biggre priced games, such as Dead Rising.

Other good news is we paid off one of our credit cards completely, we have managed to nick down about 4k in the last 2.5 months or so.Just two more cards to go and then we can focus on student loans and car payments. It also means more free money for us, that would be nice. We did splurge a little on the credit cards, but over 80%+ of the cards is comprised of my work/interview clothing and two different city moves (one was for fourty miles, one for 90, and an in town move, plus living on it for a month each time as we waited for first paychecks. Not bad on the debt or the paying back of it.

I am hoping if this works right we will get to go to Disneyland this spring and then maybe Australia this next fall. Heck, I think I would like to just have some extra money in our pockets.

Oh, and I am now trying to arrange to use some of my dentistry benefits before end of the year (where it refreshes). Get the teeth fixed up and maybe get some crowns or bridges if it works out.

Crap.. time to go to work.

Not a good dream

I had a rather strange dream last night, already its starting to get wispy and disappear so let me quickly cover it.

Hubby and I were living in what I think was Las Vegas. For some reason I think she was working for the mob (or some other organization) on a regular basis. For some reason she had decided she needed to kill my parents and for what seemed forever I was trying to convince her not to. This went back and forth for awhile (I can’t remember much of that detail) until she had to meet my parents at a warehouse. In addition I couldn’t talk my parents into not meeting with her (but I don’t think I could get myself to tell them she wanted to kill them).

Eventually I had to go to the cops (who were always following us). I went up and explained that my wife is going to try and kill my parents (I think it was more specifically my dad, but I can’t remember). Eventually the cops followed me and we went into the warehouse. Inside the warehouse was a normal room door. I pushed it open and it was our bedroom, with a large bed and set of lamps (sort of a mirrored version of our current bedroom) and there she was across from the door sitting in a box holding a pistol (specifically a .45 caliber colt longslide 1911), ready to shoot my dad, at least it wasn’t me though (this was a cross between a spot you can hide in one of the maps for the Half Life Mod Insurgency, combined with a picture I have of hubby pre-transition sitting in a box dressed as a gothic lolita). She got up, and I realized she was in her black gothic lolita outfit (but her hair was short like it is now) and ran over to the bed shoving the pistol into a sock, trying to hide it under some pillows. I was in before the cops, and all I remember doing was palming her head, shoving her on to the bed and saying “Your going to jail”.

I woke up just before I was going to cry. What the fuck was in my head (no, I don’t think the dream means anything).

So I just needed to write it up. I have had several dreams lately and I need to start recording them as I go again.

Typical

Tonight at 12:15am the wife and I were awoke to the pleasant sounds of two guys giving a boot party to a third guy. During this boot party, they were screaming “Where is my money!”.

My first gut instinct is to go outside and yell at them to leave him alone, but a more pragmatic suggestion was given to me by my wife. She suggested we just call the cops. So I get on the phone and call the cops. I am still a little disorientated, the dream I was having evidently had implemented some of the yelling so it took me a few seconds to get the situation out for the cops.

The hubby suggested before I finish to make it anonymous. So I told the dispatcher I would like to make it anonymous. The dispatcher then asked if they could call me back on the cell phone instead. Of course I agreed to that, I hate seeing anyone hurt and I have no problem talking to the cops, just not in front of my neighbors (whom I believe it was at least the boot partiers, if not also the boot party receiver.

I climb in bed, almost fall asleep (all members of the boot party had either driven or walked off by now). We do get two rings on my phone from a “private” number but they hang up before we can answer it. This bodes no well. 5 minutes later just as I almost fall back asleep there is slamming on my door. It takes me a few seconds (and much more slamming by those outside) and I answer it.

What do I see? THREE COPS!!!! The first thing they said loudly, “You called the cops right?”. I was so pissed, quietly I whispered “This is supposed to be anonymous”. There are three cops, and the one right in front of me eyes get big, he looked like he felt bad immediately, the other two cops (both a lot older then the cop in front of me) didn’t seem to concerned. I told them it was supposed to be anonymous and I don’t really want to deal with shit from my neighbors (but I told them to call me on my cell phone if there is an issue).

God that makes me fucking pissed. Although I am less worried about it then the wife. Sure I can get my ass kicked by two people just like anyone else, but people tend to leave me alone. Also I doubt anything will be done to our car, but I do worry about that a bit more. Last thing I need is neighbors fucking with my car.

Either way, I would do it again. It probably is a better option to call the cops then to step out and get involved, and there is no way I can ignore it, no matter what the cost to me I can’t just ignore two people continously kicking somone that is on the ground. 

I also doubt there will be much of a problem, everyone had left the scene, and I couldn’t identify any of the people (we live quite a bit up and away). I might be able to identify the car (but I can’t be sure until tomorrow).

I hate seeing my wife so stressed.
 

Bailout bullshit

I say here and now that this whole bailout is bullshit its a last desperate gasp of the corrupt administration and rich backers. I have been reading some articles and there are non banking institutions who are claiming money from the government (including Rudy Guiliani’s company wanting money to help with the bailout). 

Not a single middle class American will be helped by this bill. Sure everyone is going to claim it saves our middle class by saving our economic capabilities. That is bullshit, it wont save any mortgages, it will only give the rich more money.  I keep hearing how the market will take care of itself, evidently it wont and that was all bullshit. Does any of the poor or middle class get health insurance, no. Does anyone get help with their mortgages or credit card debt, no. Is there more jobs, no. This is the same trickle down theory that caused this bullshit.

Our best option would be to let everything crash and then rebuild. Yes it would be hard, but maybe what came out of the ashes would not be a house of cards. None of this fixes the inherent problems of wall street or banks, its just a “get out of jail free” card.

I have a feeling I will have a lot more rants about this coming up.

Dreams and a movie

I had a dream last night hubby and I were at Eagle’s games, however instead of it being at its normal place, it was more like the attic of a building. She was playing Stacey (the owner of Eagle’s Games) in a squad based version of Warhammer 40k. Funny enough some of the buildings used for the terrain were made out of homemade paper. We then left the gaming store and I realized she was barefoot and I had one shoe on and was barefoot on the other. We washed our feet off in a parking lot and then continued to walk on.

I then woke up, couldn’t go back to sleep, twitched in the bed frustrating the real hubby and then got up. I sat and watched Outpost, a story about a mercenary group hired by a corporate guy to go into Eastern Europe (the main mercenary is one of the main Roman Centurions from HBO’s Rome). It involves crazy nazi science, with nazi undead in a modern setting. Its pretty cool actually, I would have been happy seeing it in the theater (A+ for a zombie/undead movie). Besides, how can you go wrong with Nazi Science?

 

 

Sunday Update

This week has been hectic. I have only seen my wife  for two days up until the weekend. I spent most of my time working on the  magic rules for shadowrun as detailed in  . On Friday the dell technician was supposed to show up to fix my PC, but he no-showed so maybe he will show up Tuesday. The good news is that my PC is still under warranty (will need new MB and RAM), this means I do not have to get a macbookpro so quickly (will still want one).

Saturday we spent the day visiting my mother, her fourth of 18 weeks of chemo. It was rough on her, but it wasn’t the chemo, it was the shot they gave her to keep her platlets up so she can keep taking the chemo. I baked her a peach custard pie (which I am going to have to post here) and sat with my parents for a couple hours. This week I also worked out a whole bunch. Our trainer ran us hard Wednesday, and then yesterday was even more intense. We worked for a half an hour on chest presses, bench presses, incline bench presses, decline bench presses. True, my capability is not what I would like, but he worked us hard. Then he worked us out for 30 minutes in the pool, swimming laps, crunches, water sprints. That truly was the ass kicker of the week, however it made me feel great (albeit tired). I think I am going to go swim laps starting later this week on top of weight lifting. I had not realized how much it hurt to do a single lap, that will definitely be a good overall workout.

I only have 7 more working days before I am done with Sultan. Then its one week at Everett, then two days in Olympia for training (and I am taking  with me, two days in a hotel with a pool). Then back to the city and county courthouses for another week. After that it will be three weeks of Coupeville over by Oak Harbor. That will suck, a 1.5-2 hour commute each way. The good thing is I will gain 2 hours of “exchange time” each day. By the end of three weeks I will have gained an extra 30 hours of basically vacation time. Well better get ready for the game, I will follow up with an after-game update tonight.

Weird

Had a few strange dreams involving heresyoftruth and I have two small children. They kept rubbing their faces against ours much like our cat. I don’t normally want kids, and I don’t want them now, but there was a little meloncholy when I woke up. I do however miss my wife, even though she is asleep in the next room. I do wish we worked together, I do miss that.

In other news we lost two player characters yesterday, one to decapitation to werewolf. Unfortunately that character was overconfident and “on the edge” and he ran into a room to get a view of where his elementals were starting to fight (so he could regain control of one). Unfortunately in the room next door was a werewolf who wasn’t hit by the gunfire from the group’s Citymaster.  Just as Hot Hand Nick had yelled that the room was clear, the werewolf lept into the room, swung and rolled a crtical hit, neck strike and off came Hot Hand Nick’s head.

A little bit later now that the elementals were free (actually one was free hunting Deimos, with two elementals being its slave, and a third was free attacking the group will nilly). Abrahms, the other character was lost when elementals attacked inside a citymaster, while two others were fighting she bailed out and into the arms of the third who was going to try and roll the citymaster over. Thinking about it, it was very “monster movie” like, when the group is being attacked and one of the characters tries to sneak off from the group to avoid death and walks right into something else (like Burke from Aliens, who bailed when the Marines had a firefight but walked right into an alien that killed him). I don’t think I could have planned that, it is almost up there with Franklin’s character being killed while Andrea was looking the other direction.

The Doc on the other hand was pretty much the reason Deimos lived, he managed to hold off the Hellhound elemental long enough (and hurt it enough) until the fire suppression syste kicked in. Both Ginsu and Mary, the group phys-ads, tried hard to find things to kill, but kept not being in the right place, until the were-bear was caught, then there was plenty of sword action along with exploding Dane grenades (and exploding Dane, but not quite dead). Mace and Narf mostly were in the tunnel while everything happened.

The sad part is the run was actually fairly easy, the fubar with the elementals is what made it deadly. I will probably post a more complete run listing, but figured I needed to tell this part, 9 went in, 7 came out, and I have a feeling if the group didn’t have alchemy in use it would have been less.

Dream 08-07-08

Last night I had a rather strange dream. Heresyoftruth & I were both living in a mobile home much like what we used to live in. The only difference is the floor plan was reversed. I was looking out the living room window (the side window, only this time it was facing the pond) and I noticed a SUV in the middle of the pond. I called over to heresyoftruth and as she walked to where I was looking a bunch of 17-19 year old showed up. After a brief conversation we agreed to help them get the SUV out (the strange part was I was snickering because they were so young).

Later in the dream heresyoftruth and I were riding a bus. It was full of loud obnoxious people and I had to poke someone in the back of the head to get them to stop picking on someone. During this time the wife and I were talking about the possibility of maybe bringing in a third party to our relationship. For some reason the bus dropped us off in what looked like the old Rite Aid by Bellis Fair (across the street from it).

The strange thing was there was a large chainlink fence behind it (about 12 feet tall), with an apartment complex parellel across the road that goes past the Rite Aid. Somehow we knew beyond that fence was the Mexican border. We got off right before the fence and walked into the store right next to the Rite Aid. It was a liquor store and we both had stocked up and walked out the side door. On the side of the liquor store was a small rock wall with a few trees, bordered by the chainlink fence to Mexico. We could see the apartment complex across the street. It had somehow become night in the time we were in the store.

All of a sudden Nyarlathotep (all 100 feet tall version of him) stepped across the fence onto the American side of the border. We ducked up against the rock wall and the creature went on deeper into the US and out of our sight. We both stood up and heard a noise. We turned and two very attractive women (almost twins) were standing on the rocks. They were dressed in nun habits, but their eyes were glowing. They really didn’t say much, they jumped off the rocks and landed beside us. For some reason I kept thinking Succubus, not exactly, but close enough that I was both intrigued and worried. One came over to me, started touching me lightly and sniffing me almost in an animalistic way (but still damn hot, yes I have weird kinks). The other had gone over to heresyoftruth and was kissing her neck, much to the enjoyment of heresy (I could tell by the little whimpers she sometimes makes when she is happy, and boy is she probably going to kill me for saying that).

Thats when I woke up. I was both sad and relieved I had woken up then, even in the dream I knew the odds were they were probably going to eat us, but really how often do two hot mexican women dressed like nuns come up to you and your wife like that?

Dreams and Anxieties

I woke up this morning at 4:30 am from a strange dream last night, and I was unable to go back to bed. I was on some college campus looking at classes to take. I believe it was for either Central or Washington State University satellite campus in Lynnwood. While registering I somehow lost all my text books (and it was a bizarre language class, some sort of class about a novel, and a third miscellaneous class). I spent a good chunk of the dream looking for the books, I had somehow mixed them up with someone else’s book. Then somehow I ended on a street corner naked, trying to put on my wife’s dress so I wasn’t naked.

I am sure it has to do with my anxiety today. My mom starts her chemotherapy and I am a bit nervous. I gave them some gas money and told them to call me whenever they want. I think she will be doing good, I just worry about how sick she gets. I am trying to get them to quit smoking, and will continue to try, but part of me thinks its a lost cause.

Also the wife and I were looking at class information for her next degree (maybe she can finish her psych degree). We both didn’t realize there were multiple University Campuses within a short drive. I definitely am going to get heresyoftruth into school, maybe we should see what financial aid is available this year and get her into a campus if she wants to do a four year degree. I also found they offer a couple of different masters in accounting, I may have to try that in a year or so.

I also wonder if part of the dream was about my lack of studying for the CPA (anxiety about school). Now I did realize when I graduated in December that the first month of my tax job, I wouldn’t have time (plus we had to move and I didn’t get the study materials until my second month of work). Then we hit busy season, and there was absolutely no way to study then. Busy season ended in May, but my interviewing with other jobs started then. By mid-June I was moving  yet again to Everett and now I have finished my first month of state auditing. I figure I better start studying, I would like to take the first of four tests by October, unfortunately thats a 1,000 + pages of  Financial Accounting & Reporting (plus 300 more pages of an advanced booklet) for testing materials. Once that is done I have three more tests (Auditing,  Taxes, Business Ethics/Law) each are almost the same size (the FAR which is the first one is a bit larger then the rest).

Oh, and i probably will discontinue the friends only for now. I am working on just friending certain posts that my involve my work or other “sensitive” things, but for the most part this is a pretty harmless journal.

IRS Update

Yesterday I received a phone message from the local IRS recruiter. I had turned down her the day before, I had explained I can’t work in Seattle and I had a new job. She left a message saying they would work me out of the Everett office and she had scheduled me an appointment (after I had said thanks but I can’t). She also left a cryptic message that if I didn’t take this opportunity, the IRS doesn’t generally call back in the future, the people that turn down an interview. That felt kind of weird, was that a cloaked “do it or never work here” type of threat? I really do want to work for the IRS, but the Assistant State Auditor job is going really well and I at the very least don’t feel right just dumping (and I am really hoping it works out).

Heresyoftruth and I talked last night, I am going to stick with the Auditor job (at least for now), I don’t think its fair to my current job to bail (or even look at bailing). The job seems fine so far, there have been absolutely no bad things happen. I am a little lost (ok more then a little) however there is no reason at the moment to seek a different job, at least not until we emmigrate. So I just got off the phone this morning leaving her another message that since I had only been with the State Auditor’s office a week or so that I wanted to be fair to them and if it didn’t work out in the future I hope they would reconsider interviewing me.

I am worried I made the wrong choice, but in addition to starting yet another job, I would have to drop another 7k in pay per year for training with the IRS (although my current job worries me because I was hired at higher then entry level and it means I have to learn it quicker). I guess I am just always looking for something to worry about.