Posted in Events General Update

Christmas 2003

First off, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Merry Solistice to everyone.

Yesterday went well, saw my parents and both siblings and my niece Cass and nephew Josh. Got home and played some E&B and roleplayed some. I woke up this morning choking though. Sometimes I will wake up choking and unable to breathe.

We have always wondered if I sleep apnea plus something is going on with the valve on my stomach and sometimes I get reflux. The worst times (like this morning) are when I get reflux and it spills over into my breathing. But I woke up choking, waking up poor Wifey (which I am sure didnt please her) The choking went away and as I laid down I get a sudden anxiety attack like I was having earlier this month. I got up, showered and now its gone, but now my shoulder is cramped.

lol Merry Christmas it is I guess ­čÖé

Today’s ┬áplan is to watch court shows, watch some movies and be stranded because there is no buses.

When I was talking to my parents they may move out of county, this means I do need to fix my car or get a new one if they do it. Even though it makes me nervous they might move out of range for me (in case there is an emergency) I think in the end it might be better for them to get away from stresses of other people (most especially my sister). It would give them a chance to relax and be self sufficent. LOL I wonder if this is how parents feel about children.

Well my shoulder/back aches enough I am going to go lay down on the couch, talk soon…

Oh, and did I say Merry Xmas/Hannukah/Solstice to all of you?

Posted in Dreams General Update

Another Dream

Yes, you have to endure another dream, I might eventually open a different account so people dont have to read them if they dont want.

I dreamt I had my parent’s fish tank (they had given me all the fish they have plus the 50 gallon tank, which btw they are trading me for, me and the wife have a old camcorder we don’t use). So here I had this huge tank. There were a lot more fish though, then what my parents have in real life (my parents currently have 3 huge goldfish (over a foot long each), a Picastumus and a catfish. It had these weird underwater tentacle things, sorta like sea anemones.

I added a small fish to the tank then all of a sudden these two fish/vegetation creatures went berserk and started killing the other fish in the tank (there were a lot of different little fish, with some of the types featured in Little Nemo, such as the types of fish Dorrie and the scarred fish). Realizing the fish were ┬ábeing attacked I mentioned it to my dad (who just happened to be standing with me) and he just reached in, grabbed the first “vegetation creature” and tossed it out of the tank where it died quickly (that one kinda looked like it was a bramble bush).

He then reached in and grabbed the tentacled one (the bramble one was white, the tentacled one was purple, or at least what my color vision says is purple at least), as he grabbed it tried to grab him back with the tentacles. He threw it out of the tank, when it landed on the tiled floor (but it was in my old texas st. apt which is all carpet) it skittered and ran off (I think it eventually died in the other room). Just as I was waking up my father turned to me and said he didn’t know what kind of fish those were, they just “came with the tank”.

Wierd dream huh?

Other then that, today I have to study more calculus and go see my parents and then study more calculus then play in a CS match and then study even more calculus. Even with all this study, doesnt mean it will help me with Prof Naylor’s test.

thats it for the morning.

Posted in Events General Update Internal Thoughts

Anxiety, Insomnia and a Weird day.

Well here it is, 4am and I have just woke up with an anxiety attack/weird dreams. Even though its about other things I am sure the anxiety attack/waking up/insomnia is because its awfully warm, because my caffiene addiction hasn’t been satiated and because I am worried about my grades.

I had a weird day yesterday. Woke up from weird dreams, got up and puttered around the house with a food hangover and waited for my sister to show up to pick up the mattress. Of course she was ┬álate but this was expected. She showed up with my little brother Derek and we commenced trying to move the queen size mattress into my sister’s van.

It was rather like keystone cops, the rain was pouring down, gusts of wind up to 45mph (not joking) and it took us over 20 minutes to get it into the van, in the end I got stuck between the seat and the van but managed to after some time slip out of the seat. Fortunately the spouse was laughing too much to remember to get the camera until it was over.

So we traveled down to my parent’s neighbor (who we are taking the mattress to for free just to get it out of my house). We spend another ten minutes wiggling it out of the van with much carnage and in the wind and rain we finally got it to our neighbor’s porch. Right in front of our neighbor’s porch is an extremely smooth area, my feet being wet made it a slippery ride and I ended up twisting my ankle (still hurts too).

Upon completion we went over to my parents for awhile, ankle hurting, cold, wet and rainy. Being a non-smoker of course all the smoke in the room came to me and ┬ámy allergies kicked up. Then me and ┬áDerek decided to go see Gothika, we have my sister drop me and him off at the “mall” area (not an actual indoor mall, just where the theater, foodstore, rite-aid were). After going to the grocery store, ┬ápicking up snacks we went and bought tickets and waited in the lobby of the theater. We were told that the room wasn’t ready yet and we waited, by the time the movie was supposed to start we had heard the movie place workers talking about blood, someone bleeding, they had called the cops, etc. It seemed like something was going down.

About 10 minutes later as many people waited to go see the movie in the lobby they decided to cancel the movie. I was pretty unhappy due to the fact we had spent over an hour total waiting for the movie, we would have to wait another 30 minutes for the bus and then another 30 minute bus ride. What a waste of a day. We would have just gone to a later showing but we had a CS match that evening (last night, which we won by the way).

So fast forward us at the bus stop, we had been there over 15 minutes in the howling rain/wind. Then along comes two drunks. a drunk white guy and his Indian woman. So drunk off thier ass they could barely walk (and when they got to the bus stop they just reeked of alcohol and were drinking some Steel Reserve, nasty. Then I looked down and noticed the guy was bleeding like a stuck pig from his hand, I am not talking a little blood, seriously his white shoes were almost a solid red across the top of them.

He refused to listen to his wife/girlfriend about covering the cut and he just tossed a large white set of tissues that were crimson over most of the tissues themselves. I asked them if they had been to the theater and they smiled and said yes, they went and saw Gothika earlier in the day. So here was the reason I had wasted almost an hour before the “Movie” and now another hour after the movie due to its being cancelled.

The bus arrived, Derek told the bus driver that the guy behind us was drunk and bleeding. She refused to let him on board and told him he needed to take care of a bleeding injury like that because it was a bio-hazard. I shit you not, he was still bleeding like a stuck pig (drinking alcohol tends to make you bleed more, guess he had a lot of alcohol).

Well eventually he and his girlfriend left but the bus driver had to stay where she was while she cleaned up all the blood he had leaked on the front entrance to the bus (the hand rail, the steps, the door). So she was almost  15 minutes late getting back on route because of the same asshole that made me not see my movie. And people wonder why I dont drink.

Well later that night we played Counter-Strike as our first match known as the Bad News Bears (first 5v5 match at least) we won and that was good.

Then Derek (who was staying the night) found out my sister did have his money she borrowed but he had to go out to her, so he had to leave (and couldnt spend the night because of it) because my sister wont necessarily have the money if he waits. So it screws our plans up to see the movie. A perfect ending for a weird day full of disaster “Bradley Style”.

You will notice that my post has become very short at the end of the last two paragraphs. Thats because I am now exhausted and am going back to bed and seeing if I can sleep a couple of hours.

Posted in Dreams General Update Internal Thoughts

Early Wakeup

Well woke up just before 5am, due to anxiety dreams about my parents getting old and dying (and me getting old and being alone). I been having these on and off all fall. I think its partially because I am not working and worried about money.

Partially I think my subconcious is mourning that I will never have kids. Dont get me wrong, I am totally happy with just me and the wife but society pounds the whole idea of must having kids into your head so much I think this is one of the reasons why I have the dreams.

I also believe its because of school. I am stressed about my math class, and I am stressed that this is taking so long. I am sooo tired of hours of study but not a dime in paycheck :).

The final reason I think I am getting the dreams is for the first time in over a decade my parents are taking care of themselves. Before this they always needed money, or help or something, but for the last 3 months they have been doing better then me and my wife. LOL its almost the same thing parents go through when thier kids dont need thier help, grow up and move away.

Never mind me, just rambling.

Posted in General Update

Weird Dream

I had this dream last night. I was out in the desert and it was during WWII I believe. The whole setup was kinda like the game Battlefield 1942, except it was more realistic (I guess thats because I studied alot about WWII when I was younger).

I was sitting with a bunch of other people when we were attacked. The area was a few buildings and a bunch of cavelike things we could hide in. I ran around, shot a few things and finally hid out in a trench inside a cave (there was more then just me). This is also when I realized the people attacking us were Americans (I guess I was German, but my uniform and weapons were not quite right for that.

Well while I was hiding in the trench the Americans were slowly looking for us. I was hunkered down and I realized I was holding what I thought was a white cat. But it had a lot of features like a ferret as well. I was holding it tight to my chest so it couldnt make a noise (I got the sudden impression it was with the enemy looking for me and I didnt want it to alert others).

Then I realized that one of the Americans knew we were around there and kept wandering around the cave and the trench (everytime he walked around I would sneak to a different part of the trench). I realized the person looking for me was a priest, which worried me even more and I kept squeezing the cat/ferret thing tightly and biting it to make it stay quiet. I couldnt seem to get myself to kill it outright.

I woke up feeling bad I hurt the animal.

I am sure there is a lot to this dream I dont remember. I just thought I needed to write this down whe I woke up so I got up to do so. Looking at it now I am not sure it was a big deal to do so. I wake up alot from bad dreams that I want to write down but I dont and then it seems I have bad dreams on the same subject for long periods of time. I am thinking this may help.

The wierd thing, I wouldnt have considered the dream iself bad, it was very PG rating for the violence, the fear was real but what I really felt bad was about hurting the white cat/ferret/ratlike thing I was holding.

Posted in Events General Update Internal Thoughts

Red headed meth surprise

Well this morning I left my house at 7am to go visit my parents before school. Things proceeded well until my trip home via the bus.  Now let me give you some background on the two buses that go by our trailer. The two routes are just mirrors of each other, they only go once an hour and they mostly provide transportation for 2 mental health services.

What does this mean to you you may ask? It means the bus is always full of people who have mental problems. Dont get me wrong, I never have a problem riding the bus with people who have problems, some of the nicest people are mentally handicapped. The problem is many of these “head cases” are not physically handicapped (or mentally, brain wise handicapped) rather they are drug users who are ordered by the court system to go to counseling. This results in an unusual amount of memorable experiences on this bus route.

Well at 9am on my way home I am sitting in the back of the bus, trying not to notice that the entire bus smells like ass, its 90 degrees in there and many people who dont shower (not cuz they are homeless, just that they are dirty). My attention was drawn to a red head that came on the bus. Now something you should know right off, I have always been attracted to red heads, they seem to be attracted back to me, and they almost always are psycho and the worst possible thing for me.

Now this red head walks down a mostly empty bus and decides to sit right beside me. She turns to me and smiles. Now she would be considered cute, she was probably taller by an inch or two then Wife she was incredibly thin and had huge breasts (I pretty much tagged her as a stripper at first so I figure those are fake, which is fine). After she sits I notice she probably hasn’t showered in awhile.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the smell of girls but she had an acidy smell that I associate with someone who is coming down from a hit of acid (they have a particular odor, not stinky BO, its more of a chemical smell), I have also noticed this smell on people who do a lot of Meth. Well she turned to me and smiled and I noticed she wasn’t just thin, but Auschwitz thin. Her skin was drawn back against her body and I could have probably fit her entire body under my shirt. I also noticed her hair was unwashed and had a greasy texture in it. She wore jeans and a t-shirt but she was way too skinny (I love girls who have hips).

The first thing she does is turn to me, smile and then run her hand through my blue hair. She muttered something about how cute it was. I was frozen in shock. This was the first time I disliked having my hair touched like that (a lot of times the Japanese exchange students, mostly girls, ask to touch it and then titter and never had a problem with that). She then asked if I had a cigarette. I told her no I didnt and I went back to looking out the window. After a couple minutes I realized she was continuing to speak to me. She asked me what was I doing tonight?

My first words out of my mouth was “Not you”

I then realized how rude that was but she didnt catch it, or understand it, or even care (maybe she then thought it was a challenge). She then continued to talk to me and occasionally brush her hand against me. Now normally I am a very crude, and forward man. I can dish out insults and I have never had a problem stepping up to the biggest guy if needed. However this girl was freaking me out. Fortunately her stop (at the minimart I used to work at) came and she got off. She muttered something about maybe seeing me later. Then my stop came and I got off the bus and ran home to the wife. This made me definately happy I was married.

That was a definite strange encounter and it just shows me redheads are my bane.

Posted in General Update Internal Thoughts

Typical

Well, here I am venting my frustration about my living situation. First I want to make clear that my roommate Weylin is one of my best friends and one of the best roommates I have had.

However, here is the situation and why I am so frustrated.

When we moved in together we asked Weylin to make sure if he could give us a quarter’s notice (90 days) if he was going to move out. Now that’s more then anyone technically needs to do but with our finances so precariously balanced we need as much notice as possible to make sure everything goes through, Weylin said he was more then happy to do that.

Well Weylin has indicated that October he may move out (although never clearly made that the deadline, he has hummed and hawed about it saying it would be at least October before he moved if not longer). Well I find out three days ago that he may want to move out mid September and was curious if he could only pay half a month’s rent for September.

Now don’t get me wrong its fine if he moves out. But he cant give me a definite answer on when he will move out so now I got to assume he is out September 15th so I don’t spend the money badly. My biggest issue is sure, I can knock half the rent off for him moving out but only half of his monthly payment is rent, the other half is all the other bills (internet, cable, phone, electricity, etc) and I technically should only knock $90 bucks off what he would owe me for leaving early (because the rest of the half’s month of expenses are for bills accrued in August which he was here fully). I will probably knock off the whole half amount because he is a friend but once again when roomates out it smacks me in the ass.

We had planned that if in September if we got enough student loans to live by ourselves we were going to give Weylin at least 3 months notice to move out (and maybe 6 months if he needed it. Yet it seems 90-day notice isn’t reciprocal. I would never dream before this situation of giving less then 3 months notice to whoever lived with us.

The worst part about this is Weylin wont actually come talk to us, we find out they are planning on moving out by reading his girlfriend’s Lisa LJ and then I have to confront him about what’s going on. Not once has he come forward to keep us informed on what’s happening. I realize its probably because he is worried we will be mad, but what makes me mad is I have to approach him about when he is moving, he should be man enough to walk up to us and explain what is going on and not have me approach him about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I still consider Weylin one of my best friends and this doesn’t undercut that at all, I have lived with him before and its all good. I just wish Weylin wouldn’t be so passive about what’s going on.

I do think I might tell Weylin that he needs to move by October 1st, evidently the 90 days notice isn’t a point anymore and maybe its just good to remove all roommate type situations now.

Once again I need to make absolutely clear is that I am more frustrated that Weylin will not actually come out and talk to us on his own about the situation and keep us informed. That is more frustrating then actually quibbling over whether or not he is staying til October 1st.

I guess I am just pissed he wont just talk to us about it, I have to follow him around and try to force the conversation.

Posted in General Update Health Internal Thoughts

Getting old and hurting

Well I have been up since 5am. I had a job interview at 7am so I didnt bother to go back to sleep. I went to the interview with my back hurting like a dickens (limping along the 6 blocks to the mini-mart) I got there at 645am and they saw me immediately.

It looks like it might be a decent job. Its minimum wage with no pay increase and its 15-25 hours a week but they have a slack dress policy. You can wear T-shirts, have huge earrings and as long as your clothes are clean and not holey its all good. They also work around school schedules and were totally upfront in that they dont expect anyone to be “permanent” its a dead end job and everyone knows it. They should be getting back to me today or at latest tommorrow (either if I get it or I don’t).

My back has been hurting bad last two days. I think its partially the chair (its a good sturdy chair but isn’t very “supportive” of my back. Our computer desk is ┬ávery high off the ground (high enough I cannot comfortably put my feet on the ground and I am 6’4″ tall). and there is nothing to rest my feet on. I may in the fall after Weylin moves out move my computer to a more normal “chair height”, my only problem is that the wife did such an awesome job of installing the counter top our computers are on that I feel bad moving it. Then again we have had that computer top for almost 3 years and I don’t think its bad to maybe want to change after that long. If wifey wants to keep the counter I could move the server there. Once again this isn’t a final decision but one I am thinking of so I can use normal office chairs instead of the “bar” height chairs.

Today I have to get Weylin to confirm if he is paying September rent or not. Either way its no biggie he is my friend and one of the best roommates we ever had so if he stays thats cool, it means we get a bit more money, if he leaves by September 1st thats good cuz it gives us the house to ourselves which is always good for a relationship. Either way is good but I always for some reason feel bad asking about that. I dont want him to feel pressured either way.

Gaming is going well, we are playing this Saturday some Shadowrun and I have to get everyone to commit to a Blood Bowl night. Not sure whats going on with Matt’s game but we will see.

Well thats about it for now, update some a little later.

Posted in Events General Update Internal Thoughts

Upcoming Easter 2003

Well this quarter has gone pretty well, I am doing good, except last couple of days we are covering matierial in math that isn’t in the book and I am having a hard time grasping, oh well this is the last week of no-book use so I probably will stumble on the test on friday but then I move on :).

My mother goes in for neck surgery tommorrow morning but I can’t be there because of the stupid math test, that really slots me off. I will rush over there after school and hopefully be there before she wakes up. The funny part is my dad just had that surgery two weeks ago and they both will be wandering around with huge neckbraces. I will probably take pictures of them and good naturedly make fun of them.

I totally forgot this upcoming weekend is Easter. Weylin may go down and visit his gf, Dunk can’t make it up this weekend and my little brother wont be able to come up because he is taking care of my parents. this means if Wey does head out I will probably cancel the game this weekend because it will be less then half the players available (also my wife may also not be able to play).

Damn I hate holidays, they screw up my gaming, I guess if I was religious this would be a big deal (especially since I grew up Catholic and Buddhist (at different times)). But personally I think all religions have it wrong, there is something out there, I believe in good, I believe in bad but I definately believe man made religions are a piece of crap. I dont see why a creator that supposedly is all good would require people to be subserviant to it. I figure the important thing is you leave good memories. 

Wow I am tired and I dont know where that came from so I will move on, I am off to class, all of you have a good time….

Posted in General Update

WOOT

Well just had to post that my CS Team Innsmouth Taint had a solid victory last night (15-9) against another clan called Wasted. We had excellent CT’s strats and decent T strats. In the end we had won about halfway through the second half so then we ended up just playing for fun (we had already reached 13 round wins) so our score would have been better but for the last 5 rounds we just screwed around.

I got a good feeling, honestly I didn’t expect us to win because the whole team had not practiced together at all and a couple members (me included) have only played an hour or two at the most in the previous week. It just gelled together well.

I had a different clan mate scold me for not having our team practice but honestly I dont care if my team wins or losses (I normally am always stuck on the “bad news bears” of whatever league I play in) I am just happy to play. I think our overall relaxed attitude is what helped us because in the beginning Wasted started winning but it didn’t bother us and soon we were taking the rounds. Sorry it probably seems lame to most of you to joyously be happy, but I am old and this is my only recreation ­čÖé

WOOOT

On other news my father goes in for neck surgery today. They have to carve a hunk of hip bone off of him to replace a vertebrae. Now I know working in the medical field that this is a standard procedure but it still tweaks me out. I will go to my two classes today and then head straight over to the hospital. I really would just like a whole day off, yesterday was one of my long school days (8 hours) then I had to go to my niece’s 6th birthday party then I had a clan match then I had to do a ton of homework, now today is starting out just as busy, this sucks.