The last few weeks have been busy. Packed with trips down to Phoenix for my face, work fires and some health things that came up. I realize most people think this is too personal, but if I don’t blog about something, I tend to not write about it or remember it fully. So here is my health update.
My therapy has been going well and we have been working on the trauma and CPTSD. During this time my therapist brought up that he would like me to pursue ADHD with my primary care doctor and see if something could be done about that.
The ADHD idea wasn’t really a surprise to me. When I worked for a doctors office back in the mid 90s I didn’t have medical, but the doctors would sometimes take a quick look at you. Ironic isn’t it that a medical office won’t provide medical, that is why I appreciate the Affordable Care Act, when I wasn’t getting medical working in a doctors office, and my spouse wasn’t getting it working as a nurse really shows how fucked capitalism is.
The doctor back then looked at me and said he thought I had adult ADHD. He also said as an adult nothing can be done and I would just need to handle it. That was also because I didn’t have insurance, but that is a whole other story. So for 23 years I ignored the ADHD and just caffeinated myself. So this idea wasn’t new, but I agreed to talk with the doctor and it satisfied my therapist.
Meanwhile I have had a couple of other ailments, including the repeated daily vomiting that has stuck with me for years (with no feeling sick). They scoped me once before and found a hernia, but nothing else. Also in January I had gotten super sick (sicker then I had ever been). Both the hubby and I were so sick we both went to urgent care (we couldn’t breath, I wonder if we had caught COVID before the USA acknowledged it arrived, after all we live in the Seattle area where it first appeared).
During my visit to urgent care I noticed I had a lump in the bottom of my throat. Of course urgent care was horrible, they barely looked at me and dismissed that lump. Unfortunately not long after this the full pandemic hit and we couldn’t get in to the doctor and our second visit to urgent care they once again waved it away (in fact they wouldn’t even touch it).
So last week I went to my doctor for the first time in about a year. My doctor is fantastic, willing to research things and willing to admit when he isn’t sure but he will do that research. He looked me over and confirmed what he think is ADHD for me and prescribed me meds. He also found that my throat had a mass the size of a golf ball on my thyroid. He is pretty sure it isn’t a malignant tumor, just a mass that should be able to be aspirated or removed, so he ordered me an ultrasound I go to next week. He then also examined my abdomen and set me up with a fluoroscopy.
So I went home with meds for ADHD, an appointment for a fluoroscopy and an appointment for an ultrasound. It is the first time in over a year I felt the medical community listened to me (except my HRT doc, he is awesome).
So a week later and I have addressed the ADHD with regular medication… AND IT FUCKING WORKS. I took the first pill and was worried I was going to bounce off the wall (it is like Ritalin, an upper), but instead I almost fell asleep an hour later. It has had no upper effect on me (which reinforced my memories that it took a hell of a lot of uppers to do anything for me when I was young).
I have been able to concentrate a lot better and for the first time in my memory as an adult I get lost in projects I am working on and would finish some of my projects including learn how to design sequences in Apple Motion 5 for videos, and I finished repainting and setting up my butsudan.
Not once did I look at social media when I am working on something, and I also noticed it actually helped my anxiety. In addition, barring last nights bad sleep, I have been averaging 5-6 hours of sleep a night (which is great because 3-4 was my normal and it was killing me). I suspect they may need to up it a level since there are still some issues (I started at lowest dose), but even at this dosage it is a game changer.
This last Tuesday I went in for my fluoroscopy. I assumed it was just like the barium swallow I did a couple years ago, but it was far more in depth. They had me swallow multiple cups of different liquid, while I sat, stood and laid down. They had me scanned once in a machine that moved me around. They then had me get x-rays multiple times over several different increments of time.
Jerry the Tech, and the doctor were both fantastic. Neither one of them referred to me with the wrong pronouns and they were both intent on my health. I really appreciated that. There was another new tech who thought I was a guy until I told him I was transitioning (I obviously have boobs, makeup and I don’t think I look as masculine as I did so I suspect he had an issue with me). I did learn from him that he left his last job as a tech because there were “too many young women and full of drama”. I was a bit stunned that he didn’t realize that he was probably the problem… but I digress.
Me in the waiting area
The x-ray room
A picture of the type of machine, but not the actual machine.
While I was waiting for x-rays, they seated an older lady who hid away from me. Then I coughed a bit (the liquids they gave me had crystals that dried up my throat). When Jerry came back the old lady freaked out that I might have pneumonia. We both explained I was given a drink that dries my throat out and that I wasn’t sick. She still threw a fit, so Jerry in a supreme act of patience walked her into a different area. He apologized to me later, but I told him that he had nothing to apologize for.
Is it bad that it actually made me happy that the old lady only referred to me as a “young lady” and in fact only seemed freaked by my coughing. I couldn’t tell if she didn’t clock me or if she was cool with transgender people. Either way I will take that as a win.
Well I got out of the scanning after about 3.5 hours. The doc said he saw nothing in his initial review but couldn’t be definitive until he sat down with it. So I have a lot of hope that at least there isn’t a mass or something in my abdomen blocking my esophagus or stomach. That was the fear my original doctor had on why I was throwing up so much for years. Still waiting on report, but I have good hopes.
The thyroid mass does concern me, but the doctor and hubby both have felt it and it doesn’t have the obvious tell tale feeling of a malignant tumor. I am fairly sure no matter what happens I will be fine, but just in case I checked on the status of both my life insurance and they are good to go just in case. I will talk about that appointment next week I am sure.
There you have it, my immediate physical health condition as we speak. Being successfully treated for my ADHD, still unknown on stomach but unlikely anything like a mass, and my throat is still in the air, but unlikely malignant.
On the way home I got brave and swung by the park I normally go to for lunch at work. While I was there I played some music loudly and the crows and seagulls returned. I got to feed my birds for the first time in 8 months!!! That made my day.
Honestly I feel fairly healthy and cheered up.