I have been really quiet for the last five plus weeks since surgery. Mostly because it has been a real emotional rollercoaster, and also because I wanted to see how it turned out before I posted about it. The very brief TL;DR of it, IT WAS A RESOUNDING SUCCESS, even though there might have been some crying along the way (or more than “some”) I feel it was all worth it.
Here is the Too Long Didn’t Read Comparision before surgery and after.
Day of Surgery 
Four weeks out from surgery getting our new cat
The day of surgery was actually really good. We ended up getting up early, prepping and heading in. The traffic was extremely light and we got there in record time. I will admit that I was a bit more nervous about this then I was the first surgery. The first surgery I didn’t care how well they did in Scottsdale, it would be better than where I was at. This I was a bit more worried, not only that something might go wrong and I will have to take a step back, but that it won’t have any effect at all.
Hubby 
I was nervous
Once I got into the surgeon’s clinic they sat me down and Dr. Mangubat went through and marked my face and chest. I am always amazed at the sculpting ability of good surgeons. I look at those lines and it means nothing, but they can create works of art (just like people who draw out patterns). Changing something from two dimensional lines to a three dimensional form is pretty fantastic. Also, Dr. Mangubat and his assistant were awesome. I wish I could remember his assistant’s name, he was also a very skilled surgeon learning the trade from Dr. Mangubat. Dr. Mangubat himself was incredibly kind, jovial and reassuring.
waiting with mask on 
hubby was so patient 
No idea what the lines meant 
Dr. Mangubat was awesome 
Future boob site 
So cold in that office.
To be perfectly honest I know they rolled me into the surgical suite, I remember the nurse talking with me and giving me an IV and the next thing I remember is waking up in my bed at home. What I do know from talking to the husband is that surgery lasted about 6 hours, about half the time of my surgery with Dr. Ley. He got me into the car and drove me home.
I do know from him as he tells me even now how hard I was to get up the stairs. I might weigh a 100lbs less, I still am 6’2″ to his 5’6″ and I outweigh him by 40 lbs. The stairs were evidently an issue. I am told I stopped in the middle of the stairs and wouldn’t move. Hubby had to yell at me to get going (and it sounds in the same manner my dad would when he needed us to do something).. Thank you hubby for getting me in to the house and into bed.
This was a rough day 
I was really happy though.
The next few days were sort of a blur. I remember lying in bed, the hubby feeding me and giving me pain meds and then the hubby playing video games while he laid beside me. By Monday though I was feel really good about myself. I was really liking how it was looking and things were good.
Saturday I think 
Fairly sure this was Sunday, all a blur.
We went to the follow up appointment where they took off my main head wrap and looked over the incisions (there were a lot). The docs all seemed happy, I was happy and life was good. They gave me a wrap to put around my head and neck to help the skin heal tight.
Day of follow up 
Wanted some shots of my boobs 
Still felt like I didn’t have them yet. 
Waiting in docs after they took off wrap. 
Meanwhile my boobs were healing excellently. I had to wear a weird little maternity bra, but they were huge and somehow the doc fit 800cc implants in through my armpit, so no scarring under the boobs.
Without the wrap 
After my first shower 
I realize it is a little TMI, but I was already excited about the boobs
Within a day and a half though, the skin around my incisions started having a skin reaction. Much like when I have an allergic reaction to bacitracin or other antibiotics. It started getting bad and we called the doctor back. They immediately the next day had me come in to look at it. No one was sure what I was reacting to. It could be the wrap around my face, it could be the staples in my head or it could just be a normal infection.
I was starting to feel rougher after doing the new head wrap. 
Start of the problems 
Just starting oozing.
Whatever it was, Dr. Mangubat put me on anti-fungal, an antibiotic and an antiviral. The worry was the infection would reek havoc with my healing and skin. I am glad I saw him immediately. He actually commented that it was unusual that a patient be so proactive. I blamed my hubby being a nurse, my own experience in a doctors office, but honestly it was also my anxiety. Probably mostly my anxiety that propelled me.
Hubby patiently waiting again 
I do think I was cute even oozing. 
I will admit I was also having weird panic attacks. I felt like I couldn’t breath at night with everything wrapped around my head. I was short tempered and I did have an emotional/anxiety breakdown. To be honest nothing was ever that bad, but the rebound from surgery and just all the stress had caught up with me. Also, I do not do well with opioids. They aren’t the most effective to begin with and they wreck me emotionally, every single time.
I had one night with a complete breakdown and I was a jerk to Wolsey and lost my shit, panicking that I had somehow fucked my face up and all the work the surgeons had done. I am grateful that he loves me so much. Also things started healing up, although the breathing panic attacks still happened at night. However I was looking way better.
Feeling better as it clears 
Later that week after things had calmed down I talked to my therapist (they specialize in LGBTQ, Trauma and Trans stuff) and they mentioned it isn’t uncommon. Both my dysphoria and evidently inability to breath at night. The dysphoria is kicked off as a delayed sort of thing. It isn’t any regret on my part, but rather just processing (and not even close to the processing I will probably be doing over the years). The other part was the breathing. Evidently it is not uncommon for trans women to be uncomfortable trying to breath laying down. The fact I have 38H sized breasts with 1600cc’s worth of silicon on my chest is a new sensation and is just my body getting used to things feeling different. Evidently trans guys go through the opposite sometimes, they feel light chested.
That did make me feel better, and it definitely made me realize I wasn’t the only person going through this.
However within a few days, with the help of all the meds, my face started healing up. My breasts were already in good shape healing wise and I had no problems sleeping after the first couple of weeks. By the time my one month had arrived I was in pretty good shape and now 7 weeks out the scars are starting to fade out. I am so happy with what happened. I can’t thank Dr. Mangubat and his associate enough, but I most especially can’t thank my husband enough. He helped me get the surgery, he took care of me, and I hope he understands how much I truly love him.
I even took some photos of me several weeks after the fact just to see what I looked like.
Four weeks out getting our new cat 
Week five testing my Morticia outfit 
Week six, liking it a lot.
That is it, things are great and I attached all the pictures above plus several extra as a gallery below.
FULL GALLERY WITH EXTRA PICS
Took pictures before surgery 
Hubby as we got ready to drive in I was way more nervous then I thought I would be. 
Felt silly with a face mask in the exam room. hubby waiting with me. I couldn’t tell you how the blue lines work, but evidently the doc knew. Dr. Mangubat was awesome Future site of dual 800cc implants (38H is current size after this) I was so cold in the room. I only have vague memories of this trip. A. little more memory when hubby put me in bed. I was still really happy. Saturday (day after surgery) 
Saturday night Sunday I was mostly coherent Monday pics before followup My styling look after they pulled the head wrap off. Me when I got home and took my first shower. Yes, boobs but I wanted to show what they looked like day I got bandaging off. new head strap – pre-infection Start of the reaction Was worried what would happen Hubby waiting to find out if my face was going to fall off. Here is what I looked like waiting for them to look over my reaction. I think I was still pretty cute though. 
A few days later 
a week later, happy. 
hubby’s greeting at Joann’s 
I was tired of the “no maskers” 
Home feeling good. 
three weeks out. 4 weeks out, picking up kitty and first time I felt like myself. four weeks out Trying on parts of my Morticia costume Morticia costume at 5 weeks Me visiting parents grave at 6 weeks so happy.
