Update, Web and Home

I thought I would give a brief update of everything. I think it might be a lot of things so I will try and separate them out and address them in small paragraphs.

1. Home Hunting: Things are going pretty well. We put an offer on the good condo I mentioned in the prior post. It started at 80k. After we looked at it, it went down to 75k a few days later. After talking a bit, the wife and I decided to put an offer in for 70k plus they cover closing costs. The owner accepted after asking for 15 more days for bank approval and we pay two months of HoA fees instead of one. Considering they agreed to $2,500 more in closing costs for $257 more in HoA we were ok with that. The snag in all of this is that the condo is a short sale. So now Chase bank will take 2-3 months to decide if they will take it or if they will counter-offer. W really likes the home so I am willing to pay the list price. In the end even list price the condo, with HoA and taxes will be the same price as our current apartment, so if it works out its a win win.

2. Job: My new job is working out fairly well. The people are nice, and very patient. My only issues lie mostly in the fact that I have never been an “accountant” before so tossing me on the hardest fund as basically their full time analyst, plus giving me two other funds and two outside agency oversite is a little overwhelming. While my experience as an auditor and tax accountant has actually added a whole ton of things I bring to the accounting, I still have to dust off accounting techniques that were in school about 7 years ago. Two months down, I will know more in four months how I feel about accounting as opposed to auditing. Both have positives and negatives, we will see where the chips lie then.

3. Family: Things are doing ok, while it looks like my dad has lung cancer, it isn’t confirmed until his next appointment in January. I am going to do the best I can to avoid worrying about things. The wife is under a lot of stress with school, I feel like I haven’t seen her in months, and with the new job and new possible living situation my stress has probably made it hard for her to feel like I have been around.

4. Hobbies: I haven’t felt like doing much video game/web wise. I do have a ton of LP’s that I had wrapped up early that are scheduled and coming out fairly regularly. But strangely I really haven’t been playing much. I have been digging around the idea of drawing/writing again. I think I will start doing that, even if my content is usually fairly “adult” in nature. I want to get one group game going again, maybe that will get me out of this funk. I am thinking though it wont be a real space game, I am considering a google plus hangout game. I keep most of my stuff online anyways, and there are a lot more people available to play if I do it online.

5. Online: Finally my online habits are in the air. Currently I post a lot on Google Plus, and W and I have tumblr accounts (right now it just mirrors here). We have talked about shutting down most of our websites and using tumblr, but my problem is the lack of format capability with tumblr. So next week or so I have to figure out if I want to use tumblr sites or continue to use my domains. While originally I was considering tumblr only, I think I may keep a couple of domains open just so I can keep gaming campaigns going (and just have them repost to tumblr).

I am rambling now, so I will let you all go. I want to try and post more. I will post up W and I’s tumblrs in the next few posts.

Decrepit Building

I just woke up from a horrible dream. Not a zombie, nightmare infested dream but one that could happen.


We were at an older house, one that had fallen into a lot of disrepair. It belonged to an old lady who I never saw the face of, but we could hear in the background freaking out about the fact she might have to leave. We decided to start cleaning in the kitchen, anything to get her place into a liveable condition. The kitchen was pretty darn bad, it looked like one of those “hoarder” type setups, full of garbage and other debris, along with a broken down feeling.

I started cleaning the walls and noticed they were a weird stucco type texture. As I dug into cleaning, I realized they were stucco because of dirt, grime, but especially because of bug eggs everywhere. As I cleaned, the eggs would hatch, mostly cockroaches, but other types of bugs. This isn’t very surprising, I do have a weird phobia with roaches and of course if this was a bad dream it would have that.

It was at this point I noticed the floor had holes in it. It was an old style wooden floored building. However, the hole was pretty big around, I would say almost a foot across. As I cleaned I noticed more and more insects crawling out. Over a couple minutes that I kept killing them, the insects were larger and larger as well. I eventually yelled back at the old lady that she has to come with us as I woke up trying to get her to move.


Now, that may seem like a weird dream. However, at the end I realized it was about my parents. My parents are having their health decline severely lately. They can’t clean as well, which we help with, due to inability to reach places. Their apartment isn’t like the one in the dream. Except two large issues.

The first issue is the floor by the second door into their living room. It is rotten through. You can feel the floor boards give under the carpet that no matter how often you clean, it begins to develop a mold (I assume its because the floor pushes through to under the apartment crawlspace). Supposedly they have talked with the landlords and the landlords are trying to figure out what to do about it. The problem being is my parents don’t want to move. They love the apartment and they are scared to. So it sounds like the landlord is trying to figure out if they can repair the floor while my parents stuff is there (I could repair it, but landlords are always funny, if my parents have even really talked with them).

The second issue is something I can handle, its just a bit of money up front. ALL of my parents furniture is used, ratty and pretty much destroyed (well not pretty much, it is). They haven’t had new furniture in decades, all of these are things that were at goodwill and they have had for 6+ years, or things my dad has been able to find and bring home. They have already agreed to let me buy them a used sofa/couple of padded chairs to replace them, I just haven’t been able to do that lately.

I think I am going to need to do that next weekend. The furniture is incredibly bad due to their health, but especially because of their dog and  just the fact it is old furniture. They were fortunate and got a new bed last year so that part is good, the bed is in good shape. I think I will contact the local “We Care” and see if they have any good used furniture for sale. I saw a few years ago they carried some nice stuff, and its for a nice charity. If not I will have to go to another place. I will also have to rent a U-Haul pickup, theirs is dying, to deliver the old stuff to the dump and the new stuff back to the apartment the same day.

Well, I am starting to calm down. I doubt I will sleep the rest of the day, but maybe I will play some video games or something.

Dreams

This morning I had a very horrific dream. It started out well enough, I was in some sort of school as a teenager (although with my current memories, and the fact I knew I was married to my wife). My siblings, and wife were all attending. It was one of those hugely large wooden structures with the old school wooden classrooms. There was some sort of lecture we were attending and eventually we had to go back to the dorms (we lived at the school).

Something shifted and I was working for an organization (illegal one) with my dad. I was still going to the school though. Unfortunately one of the teenagers had witnessed something and we had to remove the witness. I tried to talk my dad out of doing it and instead to let me to do it, but he insisted he didn’t want me to do this (my dad in the dream was the father of my childhood, younger, definitely more fit). After awhile I agreed and I set it up so he could remove the witness (16/17 year old male).

When that was done we found we couldn’t move the body, so we had to leave it in the bathroom. That freaked us both out, but we sort of bunkered down in another part of the school. Thats when we saw my little sister go into the bathroom. Next thing I know we here a small caliber pistol shot from the bathroom. I look over at my father and he had a horrified look that I knew I had as well. My first thought was she shot herself.

We raced up to the bathroom and went into the stalls. We opened the middle stall but she wasn’t in it. However, I saw a tiny hand on the floor under the next stall (she would have been 10-13 or so). The most clear thing about that scene was her hand was twitching. I raced to the next stall and stopped for a horrifying second. Then I kicked it open (it was locked) and she was laying there with blood running from the side of her head from a bullet wound. She heard me and moved her head looking at me. She was trying to say something and my last memory of the dream was reaching down, grabbing her tiny little body, picking it up and telling her “it will be ok, I will get you to a hospital”.

It was a pretty fucked up dream…..

Oh, and I was even more thrown off when I woke up because we turned our clocks back an hour last night.

Frustrations

Well this wasn’t the update I wanted to post, but its funny how things happen so close together.

First let me say I know my family loves me, I love them, but they are by far one of the most dysfunctional groups I have ever known. Lets give you a brief recap of my family before I vent.

Parents: Father is a Vietnam Vet with a long prison/police record for violence(but for the record never sexual/physicall abused us, and the name calling only happend when he was drunk). In my early life he worked constantly and did well, my last 20 years or so he became unfortunately a raging alcoholic who after getting put away for a DUI has been sober (from alcohol) for over 2 years. My mother is a sweetheart, never did anything bad except a constant habit of asking for stuff from me, but thats easily satisfied, she has been a good mother albeit now she has diabetes and had a heart attack last summer (but the doctors were surprised no damage and they dont think she will have any more problems, and this was a serious only 20% live heart attack she had). Unfortunatley my parents have done/sold/excessed every drug known to man.

Sister: Loves me, I know it, has two kids (one feral one not, the not one I am sure will be gay when he is 16). Followed my parents footsteps, is an alcoholic, cant keep a job and really only calls me for help.

Brother: Same as sister except he sometimes shows remarkable clarity and wants to clean his life up, biggest problem is he is a lazy ass who doesn’t like to work.

By the way, in the 17 years I have worked on my own, I have never ever once asked my siblings for a dime, a ride or anything. NOT EVER. (and actually I have loaned my parents money 20 times more then I have ever gotten from them and same with rides/etc). Thats why this is so frustrating.

There is more about the family, but I realized that would take up way too much space.

So this morning I get up super early, my mom asked me to give her a ride over to the Salvation Army so they can pick up a chair, no problems, I don’t mind doing that at all. So I get up super early, call them at the time I am supposed to be there because I have this sinking feeling that they are on a “run” (non alcoholic, but on other things, not meth though). My dad answered the phone and immediately I know they are jagged and not going. He kinda rambles on about not needing me today and I quickly get off the phone because I hate talking to him when he is ramped up. My mom is asleep and she called later, everything is cool. So I got up early for nothing (albeit I have been working on MU’s backend and its going to fucking rock).

Ten minutes later I get a call from my sister. I was surprised and hopeful she just wanted to say hi. I should have known, her first words were, “Can I borrow $20 until tommorrow”. I normally would probably do it, she is good at paying back usually but I am broke. I told her so and she accepted it gracefully but I could tell she didn’t believe I was broke, so this frustrated me even more.

Five minutes after that I get a call from my brother. His first words are “What you doing today?” I explained that I am going to work (and I have a feeling he is going to ask for something). His next words are he needs me to come over and fix his computer. I tell him I would be happy to do that but it might be Saturday before I can come over (tonight when I get home from work I have to spend with wifey since she is off) and I am not sure if I will be able to make it over there later (he constantly nags me to give him things, fix his computer, etc and I just wasn’t sure when I wanted to commit to going over there since thats all he usually wants from me). He has a fit and asks why cant I come over there after work tonight, I try to explain but he is still having a cow. I ask him “are you paying me to do this?” because now I am feeling taken advantage of, and he starts throwing a bigger hissy fit. Now after the previous two phone calls and his fit throwing I lose my temper and say “fix it yourself” and hang up. Of course he calls back, wondering if we are going to work things out I answer and he says “fine I will” and hangs up.

So, all three of my blood-family groups have been fucktards today (although my parents less so – they didn’t say anything or do anything bad, they just didn’t follow through). Why is it the only family around me that doesn’t piss me off is my non-blood family whom I am feeling closer to then my blood.

on a side note, my mom just woke up and called me, my parents don’t intentionally fuck around, just sometimes they get too “involved” in partying and fuck up. Things are good with them, but this is all just so frustrating.

Never have I ever asked my siblings for anything, its that much more frustrating (not a dime, not a ride, nothing)

Dream: Drugs and Stuff

I have been up since 3:15am because of a dream

It started out fairly ok, it was me, Sage, Sean, an old friend named Jay and a couple of people I don’t know. We were out in the boonies when Sage and Jay get this idea to score some drugs. The drugs came in the small clay containers that you broke open and inside was powder that got you high.

Part of me was a little worried, Sage sometimes can be a little flirtatous with others when “high or drunk” and so I was a little put off. But for some reason not to be out done I bought a kilo of the stuff (I dont normally get high, or even drink).

So we wandered around and Sage disappeared with a bunch of people, leaving me by myself. All of a sudden I was in Fred Meyers (the FM before the refit) and my parents were there. I was still carrying the kilo and still angry that Sage bailed on me with a bunch of people to go get high.

I yelled at my parents that we aren’t supposed to be shopping and my father and I got in an argument as we walked outside. I said “Fine walk home” and got in my truck, both of us were still angry and I found myself driving down the road with my dad behind me in a Model T, the whole time we are arguing. He eventually gets mad and chucks the gas cap on the model T thats on the driver side at me, I all of a sudden get worried as I see gas spilling out onto the car, while he is yelling at me.

Then I see a cop come up on us, flashing lights and all. I realize I still have the kilo of powder and I make a break for it, my dad tries to help but I notice that his car is swerving and where the gas came out, it has caught on fire, I watch as my dad climbs out of the car while its still moving, gets caught up on it as it skids to a stop, my dad is lying there on the ground hurt when I see the cop try and stop before he hits my dad or the car, the tire of the cop car goes lengthwise across my dad’s body flattening it and when it gets to the head it squishes like a grape.

I then woke up and couldnt go back to sleep.

Fuck…..

Dream: Dad in a home

I woke up this morning from a very disturbing dream.

I dreamt my parents had gotten another fish tank. It was a weird design (I think 40 gallon) and it had lots of little fish. My dad then told me he was moving into some sort of home (not a old folks home, but it was some sort of group home, I think he was trying to fix his head). My mom was there at first and then for the rest of the dream she was gone.

He picked this home because of two reasons. One it wasn’t the Silver Beach group home (mental handicap/health home not far from my house) because they wouldn’t take the fish tank with him. Two, because they had better doctors at the second home. I didn’t think any more about it, except my dad showed me some pictures of explosions (nuclear) and of major birth defects (a picture of this baby with one eye that was a tiny tendril instead of an actual eye). I found that last picture very disturbing.

Then at some point we (I think my friends and wife were there) went to a “show” that was a public display of military weapons, I believe it was a vehicle showing the bad things about war, except no one saw the bad parts except me, everyone else just cheered on (probably thinking about Bush/Iraq). I sat for awhile watching different vehicles/weapons when I noticed this huge metal/fiberglass building with huge airlock type doors. I noticed doctors around it and people from this building taking pictures of the vehicles.

It seriously was a huge building (many times the size of my mobile home, many). I then realized that some of the doctors from the building had  pictures (the same  pictures my father had shown me, especially the one with the baby) the idle thought that maybe this was the place my dad was moving into came to me. When I realized something important. The building had wheels. I caught one of the people from the building and all they could say was it was their building and that it was one of the most advanced there was. I mentioned it was cooler looking as a vehicle then any other of the military stuff there. It then dawned on me that it was a super secret military mobile building/vehicle. 

All of a sudden I got worried this is where my dad (and mom?) went to live (the whole thought of government experiments, etc came to my mind. I then woke up worried about where my parents would live.

Totally bizzare.

Dream and update

I had an intense all-night dream involving me being a “Jeckle and Hyde” type creature (I thought it was a “Hulk” thing at first). I was a murderer when I was a human but when I became the monster I felt remorse and tried to help. There was a lot more to the dream then that but I have been up for about 2 hours and have forgotten most of it. Maybe I will start a second journal just for dreams.

Other then that, things are going well, I am waiting to hear from the mini-mart but I got a feeling the reason they asked me to wait til Monday to find out was that they hired people and they wanted to see if they would work out before they gave me a final answer.

Tomorrow I am going with sage to see Tomb Raider 2 and probably go back to looking for work Wednesday (if I dont get hired today). I also need to call Manpower and bitch at them for not calling me in for temp work.

Overall I dont really need to work, its just nice to have the extra money. There are some things I want to buy for the wife and being broke doesn’t help.

My dad is really pushing I should try webdesign to make money (currently I have helped out several people with thier sites) and maybe he is right. I will think about it.

Other then that I am listening to the wife snore in the other room. She is soo cute, it always has this little birdie sound to it. Sometimes it just amazes me how much I love her, even just sitting and listening to her snore.

well thats it for now. I am starting to post more so you should read more shortly.

WOOT

Well just had to post that my CS Team Innsmouth Taint had a solid victory last night (15-9) against another clan called Wasted. We had excellent CT’s strats and decent T strats. In the end we had won about halfway through the second half so then we ended up just playing for fun (we had already reached 13 round wins) so our score would have been better but for the last 5 rounds we just screwed around.

I got a good feeling, honestly I didn’t expect us to win because the whole team had not practiced together at all and a couple members (me included) have only played an hour or two at the most in the previous week. It just gelled together well.

I had a different clan mate scold me for not having our team practice but honestly I dont care if my team wins or losses (I normally am always stuck on the “bad news bears” of whatever league I play in) I am just happy to play. I think our overall relaxed attitude is what helped us because in the beginning Wasted started winning but it didn’t bother us and soon we were taking the rounds. Sorry it probably seems lame to most of you to joyously be happy, but I am old and this is my only recreation 🙂

WOOOT

On other news my father goes in for neck surgery today. They have to carve a hunk of hip bone off of him to replace a vertebrae. Now I know working in the medical field that this is a standard procedure but it still tweaks me out. I will go to my two classes today and then head straight over to the hospital. I really would just like a whole day off, yesterday was one of my long school days (8 hours) then I had to go to my niece’s 6th birthday party then I had a clan match then I had to do a ton of homework, now today is starting out just as busy, this sucks.

Dad in Jail

Well, its Saturday afternoon and I am exhausted.

Its been a long week for me. I found out December 30th that my dad got busted for old DUI warrants from 4 1/2 years ago and now he is in jail. On top of this the next day he went before the one judge in all of the county that hates his guts (the judge specifically reversed the order of the cases so my dad would go last, even the Bailiff was a little weirded out about how the judge did that).

The rub of this is that this was also the last day this judge would be around, he was retiring starting the next day. Not only did he slap 1.5 times the normal bail, he then turned around, doubled it again and told the court that my father could not use a bail bond for his bail, he would have to post with cash only.

Now even with all these hiked up numbers it comes to only $7,000 but no one in my family has that kind of money so my dad sits in jail. I got to visit him today, actually he was much better looking then he has for awhile. They don’t allow smoking or drinking in jail so my dad is starting to feel better (he has emphysema but keeps smoking like a chimney). He looks healthier and he has a lot of his old energy. I am pretty sure that in the end this is the best thing that could have happened to him because it gets his past behind him and now he will deal with the results and move on.

Jimbo (L) and Dad (R)

It was a pain in the butt to go visit though, I hate jails (when I was a kid he got in a lot of fights and was in jail a good amount of the time) and of course this brought back all the old memories. I have been in a black mood all day and probably mostly due to this experience (anticipating the trip to  visit my father in jail). Well its over now, I feel remarkably better, he seemed happier if you could believe it.

Don’t get me wrong, my dad is an awesome guy, he just likes his alcohol alot (probably the biggest reason I dont drink, alcoholism runs in the family pretty badly). He is pretty intent on quitting drinking and smoking (which may sound like something anyone would say when in this situation but he normally will not admit to quitting anything longer then “a few weeks” this is the first time in a long long time he has told me he intends on quitting permanently).

So on the way home I used some saved up money, bought two steaks, some salad makings and some mushrooms to use with the steak and I plan on cooking the wife some dinner later tonight, too exhausted to do it right now. Maybe I will go play some CS.

I am getting heavy eyelid syndrome so I will sign off now, everyone have a good day.