High Anxiety

The last week has been full of anxiety on many fronts.

Work: We have a new manager (temporarily) and that has been stressfull. In some ways he is pretty cool, he will back you against an entity without thinking. However, like I have bitched about earlier he sucks on interpersonal interactions. He has further limited the flexibility of my job, which sadly is the only positive at the moment. With paycuts, benefit cuts, and no COLA in the last five years the biggest plus for this job is our schedule flexibility. He has instituted (at least until my old manager returns, if they don’t keep it permanently) changes that are limiting the flexibility. So that has been stressful. I don’t hate my job, its still not a bad job, but its frustrating.

Possible Jobs: City of Mukilteo was a no-go. Not a big deal, I suspected with as many experienced people that it wouldn’t pan out. However, now a week from Friday I have a job interview with the City of Seattle as a Senior Accountant for the Department of Retirement Services. It pays about the same as that Accounting Manager job (minimum it starts 15% more than I am making now) and the benefits are a lot better. The only stressful thing would be its the same job day in and day out and I tend to get bored, and the commute. Although I found if we get that new apartment its only a 40-45 minute bus ride from a block from my house to the front door of that job, so it wouldn’t be bad at all. If this doesn’t work out, I probably won’t apply anywhere until winter, which case I will apply at Fed jobs since it takes six months to get hired. So if I apply at the end of this year, I should get the interviews around my five year mark with the office.

Although, even with all the bitching I am doing, my current job isn’t horrible. Its weird to have work that I don’t just bail on when I am not happy (in the past I bailed on jobs left and right, hence 50+ jobs into my career its weird to work four years at the same place). I think that gives me a bit of anxiety. Because of my retirement vesting in 11 months and because of the medical needed for wife I can’t just say “screw you” :).

Tomorrow: Tomorrow is probably the most anxious part of everything. I am going in to get snipped. Now first let me be clear I have no interest in kids. I haven’t even considered kids in the last 18 years at all. I don’t want kids, and if for some reason I did want kids I think I would like to either foster or adopt. There are a lot of kids out there that need a parent, I don’t need to make my mark with my genetics.

Yet for some reason last two nights have been full of nightmares and stress. I am sure the snipping is part of it, but I also suspect the relocation and job situation are just adding onto it.

Relocation: Relocation is a bit anxiety ridden as well. We haven’t heard back yet for sure, but the manager did call to say they are behind because the owner is sick. The new place is cheaper, only a block away from wife’s school and near several shopping/hobby locations. Plus its going to be closer to Seattle when I eventually get a different job.

It is a bit smaller, but we have already gotten a car load of stuff out of our current place, sold the weight bench (tattoo money) and its starting to look sparse in our current place. Honestly we don’t use huge chunks of our apartment, its a waste we have that extra space. I always feel better when we reduce our possessions. I guess its a flashback to being young and having to be ready to move at a moments notice (until age 24 I could fit everything I/We own into a pickup truck). I am hoping to cut out another 50% of my belongings, not counting electronics, before we move.

Oh, and one final bit of anxiety, our landlord had some people come in and measure our current apartment (she doesn’t know we are moving yet). Either they are selling the place, or they are going to try and raise our rent a second time (not worth it without a washer dryer). The landlord claimed it was for refinancing, but the wife said it didn’t feel like that.

So, I guess overall I am just saying I am a little anxious today.


Tonight at 12:15am the wife and I were awoke to the pleasant sounds of two guys giving a boot party to a third guy. During this boot party, they were screaming “Where is my money!”.

My first gut instinct is to go outside and yell at them to leave him alone, but a more pragmatic suggestion was given to me by my wife. She suggested we just call the cops. So I get on the phone and call the cops. I am still a little disorientated, the dream I was having evidently had implemented some of the yelling so it took me a few seconds to get the situation out for the cops.

The hubby suggested before I finish to make it anonymous. So I told the dispatcher I would like to make it anonymous. The dispatcher then asked if they could call me back on the cell phone instead. Of course I agreed to that, I hate seeing anyone hurt and I have no problem talking to the cops, just not in front of my neighbors (whom I believe it was at least the boot partiers, if not also the boot party receiver.

I climb in bed, almost fall asleep (all members of the boot party had either driven or walked off by now). We do get two rings on my phone from a “private” number but they hang up before we can answer it. This bodes no well. 5 minutes later just as I almost fall back asleep there is slamming on my door. It takes me a few seconds (and much more slamming by those outside) and I answer it.

What do I see? THREE COPS!!!! The first thing they said loudly, “You called the cops right?”. I was so pissed, quietly I whispered “This is supposed to be anonymous”. There are three cops, and the one right in front of me eyes get big, he looked like he felt bad immediately, the other two cops (both a lot older then the cop in front of me) didn’t seem to concerned. I told them it was supposed to be anonymous and I don’t really want to deal with shit from my neighbors (but I told them to call me on my cell phone if there is an issue).

God that makes me fucking pissed. Although I am less worried about it then the wife. Sure I can get my ass kicked by two people just like anyone else, but people tend to leave me alone. Also I doubt anything will be done to our car, but I do worry about that a bit more. Last thing I need is neighbors fucking with my car.

Either way, I would do it again. It probably is a better option to call the cops then to step out and get involved, and there is no way I can ignore it, no matter what the cost to me I can’t just ignore two people continously kicking somone that is on the ground. 

I also doubt there will be much of a problem, everyone had left the scene, and I couldn’t identify any of the people (we live quite a bit up and away). I might be able to identify the car (but I can’t be sure until tomorrow).

I hate seeing my wife so stressed.

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