In the last couple of weeks, I have started working out at Planet Fitness again. I have surgery coming up in 7 weeks and when the surgery is over I will have significantly larger breasts, meaning possible back concerns.
So I have started weight training (mostly focused on core, legs and back, just to handle the changes and to be a little healthier) plus bicycling. I want my 22-year-old bicycling butt again, in a girl’s body, it will be awesome.
So last week I went to the gym three times, A Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday, all at 4am or earlier (might as well do something with my insomnia). The place was empty. Fast forward to today, I went in on my first Monday and it was packed with guys.
I was a little uncomfortable, I hadn’t shaved or put makeup on and my boobs are noticeable now. I figured what the hell though, my face looked dirtier then unshaven and why would they bother? By the end of the workout, I realized how much male privilege I had before my transition.
No one would look at me back then, no one cared. During my 45 minutes in the gym today, all four guys hovered around the machines I was using, instead of the same exact machines that were open.
I would catch them staring at my boobs in the mirror, and after a short while, they started trying to look at my face (my hair was in front of it a lot). I think they were all confused for a while, the boobs were obvious, but I don’t pass so the confusion was there. Also, my hips and butt are starting to feminize pretty nicely.
So I spent the workout uncomfortable, being stared at by 4 guys and trying to not have them notice that I noticed. I bailed on the bicycle today. I think I can’t go into the gym without makeup now, I realize it doesn’t really help but it does help me mentally put a barrier up. I also won’t be doing Mondays again.
I mean the whole point of working out at 4am is to not be looked at. If they are going to look at me I will probably just go in the afternoon. At least then I will already have makeup on and be shaven.
The hubby explained even if I pass I will get stared at like that, and I cannot apologize enough to the women of the world. It never dawned on me as a guy that everything is inspected. I have to admit I am sure I checked out every woman in the gym when I worked out as a boy. I don’t remember doing so, but it was natural as a guy, and I never considered how the women might have felt… agghh I hate learning I was doing asshole things after the fact.