Dream

I had a dream last night about  and myself.

We were traveling in our Kia and arrived at a farmhouse in snow. It was a flat area (no trees) and I couldn’t really tell you where it was myself. We got in an argument, she wanted to go party with a guy that reminded me of a combination of men I knew in real life (Warren and Aaron). I told her I didn’t want her to go off and party with him without me (I was incredibly jealous).

I stormed off a short distance with the car and the road was to slick with snow. I then realized I didn’t have shoes on so I walked back to the house to get my shoes. When I got there,  was gone with the guy and it freaked me out. I got my shoes on, tramped back to the car and found it gone. I realized she had taken the car (yes, not sure in my dream world how she knew where it was) and I had to walk back again to the farmhouse, realizing I hadn’t worn a coat.

I got back, called her since it was the next morning and some other woman answered. The woman told me it wasn’t any of my business and indicated she and the guy were with my wife.

That’s when I woke up. I am not sure why I had that dream.  and I get along great, we haven’t fought and there has been no new person in her life that I am jealous of. It was purely a bad dream. I hate those.

Wearing the horns

I figured I would write this down quickly and try and go back to bed (even though I have to get up god awful early). I promised myself I would write the dreams down, even if they sucked or didn’t make sense. I should note that this is a dream, so I do not hold it against anyone 🙂

I dreamed that hubby and I were running Dying Light. At least I assume it was Dying Light. The camp was different though, there seemed to be a stream that ran through it, and multiple cabins (it wasn’t a camp I have seen before). I remember looking around and noting that a lot of people had really cool decorations, including theater lighting type stuff. There were buildings with detailed decorations hanging in windows, I could hear voices in the distance enjoying themselves.

We were sitting in the plot/logistics cabin, checking the occasional person in (and our age group was much wider than it is now). During this time a lot of sex things were happening sort of off camera. Not involving me or hubby , I just felt others were “being busy” in other rooms. I got uncomfortably propositioned by one of the guys and really wasn’t interested. Don’t get me wrong, I have seen some guys I consider attractive, and I have scored low on purity tests dealing with guys, but I am definitely geared for women :). 

hubby then placed a large set of horns on my head and gave me a large kiss. Something felt a little off about that, but I wasn’t sure. It didn’t feel like she was dressing me like a beastman.

I was sitting on the couch helping Mr. G (name changed to try and not embarrass anyone who may have been named in real life) when hubby sat between me and him on the couch, she then leaned over on my lap and grabbed my horns with a smile, she smelled a bit like wine and she nuzzled me and said she was a bit drunk. I chuckled to her that we should go sleep together (she had that semi-horny, buzzed girl voice/movement going). Now, I am not sure but I think in my dream talk I might have said something like Toothy and I (her character) just because of her response. She shook her head, “no…. Sage wants to go sleep with Mr. G …”. I was a bit shocked by that, and stammered a bit. I felt really ashamed (I think this may have been worse due to the fact that Mr. G was sitting right on the other side of her) and she chuckled at me just tugging at my horns. She then leaned over towards the other person about to kiss him. That’s when I awoke to a loud beating heart.

I felt like I was kicked in the gut. I wasn’t mad at Mr. G, I was embarrassed that she had turned me down and then said she wanted to sleep with someone else within earshot of that other person and the rest of plot camp. I also felt weird that she used a name she no longer uses. 

In reality I am not angry at my beautiful wife, she has done nothing wrong, but it bothered me to be cuckolded in my dream (and no I don’t know why at the time I thought of the term cuckolded). I then got up to write this down. Oh, and a side note about wearing horns, the term “wearing the horns” means to be cuckolded or to have an adulterous wife (you can also say that nowadays about men). I must have picked up that little bit of subconscious knowledge in the past, unfortunately to have it pushed at me during an anxiety dream.

No my wife is not adulterous, and funny enough we have an open marriage and in real life I don’t get jealous, it was just an anxiety dream (this is one of the areas I get anxiety in). Just not sure why I am so anxious. I better get some sleep, I am going to crawl back in with my beautiful wife who loves me. Pardon my writeup, I know I sound stilted and a bit like mojo-jojo.

Teen Angst Dream

Last night I had a dream that I woke up with an old school teen angst. I dreamt that the hubby  and I were going into Eagles Games (an old gaming store I used to frequent on a regular basis). We were just as old as we are now, and we were just getting started in a new game system. We had never played before, so one of the regulars in Eagles took us around the store and helped us to select different items.

I did think it was strange that we were picking figs, books and other items from different game systems. While I was selecting figs, hubby had wandered off. I caught up with her in a part of the bookstore that was a long set of stairs that had gaming items hanging off the wall. She had her top off and was wandering around topless. As is normal for gaming geeks in my head she was surrounded by guys (in real life most of them would have been too scared to get that close). I was so angry, worried, and hurt because of it. In real life I would probably not care whatsoever. I know she is with me, and that’s all I need.

However, in the dream, the 17 year old low self esteem, worry, and confusion/anger popped up and I was pissed. I pushed myself past all of these people, smacked some heads and got up to her. That is where I woke up.

When I woke up, I was assaulted with the same unsure feelings I had during my teen, early twenties. I got worried about my parents, my wife, my siblings. I hated being a teenager, and honestly I don’t think I would want to repeat it. What I hate even more is waking up at 0400 from these dreams.

Plus it just sounds stupid when I wake up and have had time to think.

Dream: Drugs and Stuff

I have been up since 3:15am because of a dream

It started out fairly ok, it was me, Sage, Sean, an old friend named Jay and a couple of people I don’t know. We were out in the boonies when Sage and Jay get this idea to score some drugs. The drugs came in the small clay containers that you broke open and inside was powder that got you high.

Part of me was a little worried, Sage sometimes can be a little flirtatous with others when “high or drunk” and so I was a little put off. But for some reason not to be out done I bought a kilo of the stuff (I dont normally get high, or even drink).

So we wandered around and Sage disappeared with a bunch of people, leaving me by myself. All of a sudden I was in Fred Meyers (the FM before the refit) and my parents were there. I was still carrying the kilo and still angry that Sage bailed on me with a bunch of people to go get high.

I yelled at my parents that we aren’t supposed to be shopping and my father and I got in an argument as we walked outside. I said “Fine walk home” and got in my truck, both of us were still angry and I found myself driving down the road with my dad behind me in a Model T, the whole time we are arguing. He eventually gets mad and chucks the gas cap on the model T thats on the driver side at me, I all of a sudden get worried as I see gas spilling out onto the car, while he is yelling at me.

Then I see a cop come up on us, flashing lights and all. I realize I still have the kilo of powder and I make a break for it, my dad tries to help but I notice that his car is swerving and where the gas came out, it has caught on fire, I watch as my dad climbs out of the car while its still moving, gets caught up on it as it skids to a stop, my dad is lying there on the ground hurt when I see the cop try and stop before he hits my dad or the car, the tire of the cop car goes lengthwise across my dad’s body flattening it and when it gets to the head it squishes like a grape.

I then woke up and couldnt go back to sleep.

Fuck…..

Dream: Working at Bob Rude’s Auto Shop

Ok, I had this strange dream this morning.

It started with me working at Bob Rude’s auto shop. We were inside the shop busily working with a bladed machine thats used to grind things. Well of course one of the monkeys in the shop was screwing around and shattered the blade that flew all over the room, cut me up pretty badly and this one other guy as well.

We were rushed to the hospital and were released later that night. I walked down the alley that runs beside Bob’s shop (but in the dream it was different, his place was on a hill). I look down the alley and infront of the shop I see this girl laying on a tree stump, she has a cup laying on her chest and she is only wearing a bra and panties. I notice the girl is looking further down the alley talking to someone, she has blond hair, she has tattoos around her upper arms and a slaneesh symbol on her left thigh. I stop and duck around the corner to listen.

The girl then gets up (I still haven’t seen her face) and she goes inside the shop with this guy. I follow her into the shop and see that she is not visible, except on the couch is a huge blanket pulled over two people giggling and I see a tuft of blonde hair and hear a little bit of moaning.

Problem being I was going out with that girl and she was someone I loved. 

I always hate the stabbed in the back, cant breathe feeling.

Then in real life…
I then woke up (it was 330am and drifted in and out of sleep for an hour before getting up), Meanwhile a certain blonde haired girl got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I always do love that Slaneesh tattoo on her left thigh.

Funny thing is, I know she loves me and wouldn’t cheat on me, and if for some reason an “accident” happened it definitely wouldn’t be any of the monkeys at Bob Rude’s shop (probably wouldn’t even be a boy).

*note from 9/2018, that girl is my current husband, yes same person and same tattoo, just different outer body.

Dream 2-14-2003 (Happy Fucking Valentines day)

Ok, I just woke up from a fucked up dream so I figured I would start writing them down.

It was afternoon, I think it was Bellingham but its hard to be sure. The wife and I walked into this small shop that contained a lot of alternate lifestyle (eg, punk not gay) items. They had a lot of books, rings, whips, etc just about anything I could think of. The people that ran the shop were a couple. A super skinny alternative looking boy and his girlfriend who was also super tiny.

They both were mostly unclothed, barely had enough clothing on to be allowable in public, but I didnt mind to much. We wandered around the store, there were some cool things but nothing outstanding. Of course the guy was long winded and had the “I am so cool” attitude and was dismissive towards me, focusing all his energies on the wife (this should have been a warning sign to me, but all I felt in the dream was an annoyance at him, the way he acted to me is very similar to the way most of the people Doug and Jay hung out with acted towards me).

Meanwhile the cute punk girl was jabbering to me about things, I really wasn’t going to buy us anything because we were broke but I looked up and the wife was picking up things she liked so I was going through my wallet, its rare when the wife wants to actually buy something so I generally like buying it.

She brought over a large stack of stuff to the guy behind the counter, meanwhile the girl was jabbering to me quietly about different books, etc. I was leafing through a book when out of the corner of my eye I see The wife pull the boy’s pants down and start giving him a blowjob. I looked up confused for a moment, the punk girl was right next to me and mostly naked now, I got the impression at that exact moment that I could have sex with her if I wanted and nothing seemed untoward about the situation.

All of a sudden the I got the same exact gut wrenching feeling of rage that I haven’t felt in a long while, the urge to cave the punk boy’s head in .

The rage hit me so hard I immediately woke up incredibly angry and hurt. I still am feeling the same angry buzz I felt that night. I just don’t know why I am so upset.

I will stop now, I have no idea what I am doing or saying and Weylin just woke up and is roaming around so its not a thing I wish to dwell on. It was just a gut wrenching dream and I felt I needed to start a dream journal to maybe work through some of the fears/feelings I get from the dreams.

UW Seattle and Spouse Nightmare

Update note: I refer to my wife, that is indeed the same person that is currently my husband. 

I have been having nightmares for the past 4 days in a row and even though they are different they feel like they are getting worse. Normally I would tell the wife unit but she has been freaked out by her parents and sister and I haven’t felt I had the right to burden her. So what am I going to do? Yes I am going to burden all of you by making you hear about my nightmare from last night.

First I should give you some background. I occasionally will have streaks of nightmares. I haven’t had a horrible streak of nightmares in a few years but when I was younger I would have long streaks of wake up screaming nightmares. Usually it starts as fall approaches and I just noticed its fall again. Hmm coincidence? I think not.

Some other background info, when I was young (in high school) I got picked on by the jocks. The funny thing is I used to be a football player for neighborhood leagues but I got tired of the competition so I gave it up and my family moved up to B’ham. So while I went to high school in B’ham I had long hair and ratty clothes.

For the first few days I got picked on mercilessly, I think this is because the jocks knew I had not made any friends yet so there was no “clique” that would protect me. I tolerated the picking on for a while but I felt more and more trapped and one morning in jock hall (I had to walk down jock hall to go to my Drama class) they started taunting me again. Honestly what happened next was kind of a blur but I found myself picking out the biggest football player and like a screaming banshee I grabbed him threw him against a locker, kneed him several times and began pounding his face screaming I was going to bury him and the rest of the football team in the back field.

Now most of you who know me in real life must realize at the time I was 6 inches shorter and about 100lbs lighter (about 5’10 150 lbs or so). When I recovered from my temporary freak out the jocks had moved about 10 feet away from me and the burly guy I was holding was crying. I released him and walked away.

The weird thing is the principle was not informed by the jocks and they gave me a wide birth for the rest of my high school experience (I even became friends with a couple of the cooler jocks). Although to this day people who taunt me just piss me off, probably a holdover from this time period. Well I think that is enough of a background of what I think is relevant issues (well there are others but I don’t want to go into them, they are too personal to wish to post). Well here it is, the dream that freaked me out.

The wife had super short hair again (for some reason that’s my favorite) and was wearing some of her clothes that enhance what she looks like (e.g. short and leathery). We were both going to UW in Seattle and it appeared that we were both in some sort of lecture hall with low lighting. I was listening to the professor when I looked over and this girl was glaring at me for some unknown reason. I became very uncomfortable when I noticed three different guys glaring at me. They all had the “I am a jock but trying to look alternative” appearance and they began throwing shit at me and threatening me, this of course reminded me of high school and I felt a freak out coming.

Eventually the class ended with me having a small frenzy, I grabbed one of their desks flipped it over and explained in a very low voice to his ear that I would kill him if he didn’t leave me and mine alone. Well the three of them (with the girl) left the room and I had this feeling the shit was going to hit the fan so I caught up to my spouse outside the room. I found that she was talking and laughing with those three boys and yes I admit I am a jealous person but I didn’t feel it was my right to stop her from talking to people. They wrote their phone numbers on her arm and left.

I had this feeling I was going to have to fight all three of them at a time, I wasn’t scared of fighting them but I was worried about going to jail for giving the three of them a beat down. I got an extendable nightstick and hung it off my belt (you never know when they might jump you). Then spousal unit and I went outside and found ourselves in downtown Seattle. We wondered up a small street and sitting on a ledge by the street we saw our friend Kailey.

We sat down and talked, and the spouse told me she forgot something and she would be right back. Well I sat with Kailey talking and horsing around when after awhile I noticed she had not come back and I was becoming increasingly worried that something might have happened to her. Eventually I told Kailey I would be back later, got up and headed back into the school. Weirdly enough I found both my brother and my mother in the school but both claimed to not have seen her (and even in my dream state I thought it was weird to see both of them there).

I wandered through school until I noticed a line of boys at a doorway. Someone was taking money from them. There was the biggest pit in my stomach as I noticed that the guy taking money was the redhead of the three guys I got into the yelling match with. Part of me did not want to know and walk away. I knew what was going on, I could feel it in my gut. I whipped out my nightstick and hit the first jock so hard I heard a soft cracking sound and he dropped like a stone. I stepped in and saw the other two giggling and going over a pile of money. To my left I saw movement on a table (all I could make out where handcuffs and writhing on the table) and for some reason in my dream I knew what was happening but I couldn’t force my dream self to look.

I stepped forward and in a short time I dropped the other two jocks pretty quickly, the sounds of it reminded me of when I was 16 and did drop a jock with a baseball bat after he hit me with it first. I turned around and for a brief second I saw the spousal unit and this boy silhouetted, she was staring at me and I woke up (my gut felt on fire, I think my ulcers might be coming back) and the reason I woke up is because she was angry at me and I was unable to determine whether it was because I interrupted her and something she wanted to do or because I was late in rescuing her.

This dream freaked me out this morning so badly I had to get up and puke in our main bathroom. I realize by reading this, someone who was not me may not understand why its so horrific and it freaked me out so bad but I felt I needed to write it down and tell others and maybe I can prevent my dreams continuing on a downward spiral.