PT: 30 Years Today

Just an FYI, Wolsey is ok that in my memories I refer to him as a girl before he transitioned. My writing is a lot more awkward when I tried to change pronouns he used back then. He knows this and is ok with it (like I am ok with him referring to me as … Continue reading PT: 30 Years Today

Strange Meetings (dream)

Last night I had a weird, anxious and intense dream that lasted all night. Probably part of it is anxiety, finally system clear of narcs and any other aid to help sleep or maintain my mood. Wolsey and I had moved to what looked like Seattle, a large city in a rainy area. We met … Continue reading Strange Meetings (dream)

CoaA: Wedding Day

So, you haven't seen CoaA posts yet, have you? Well, that is because that stands for "Confessions of an Asshole" and this is my first post. Mostly it means that like other people I talk about here, I also will talk about my own failings, including when I am absolutely the asshole. Sadly that happens … Continue reading CoaA: Wedding Day

Cold and damp memories

I woke up terrified this morning. It wasn't the result of dreams of monsters or high threat situations. I wasn't suffering from the occasional existential dread I get of getting older and losing family and friends. Instead I was lying in a dark room. I could hear the rain sound from the white noise YouTube … Continue reading Cold and damp memories

A Clear Memory – UHF Antenna (1985)

I woke up this morning with an incredibly clear memory from my childhood. Something I hadn't thought about in decades, but for whatever reason it came up now. Probably because we are starting to approach fall and it triggered something (Fall/winter always has the most memories pop up and the most nightmares). Back in 1985 … Continue reading A Clear Memory – UHF Antenna (1985)

Music and the lack thereof as a child

Growing up super poor was beneficial to me in a lot of ways. It taught me how to deal with little to no food, how to push off the lights getting shut off or being evicted and how to minimize my belongings. The one thing it didn't help was owning my own music during childhood. … Continue reading Music and the lack thereof as a child

Fried Bologna and Spam Sandwiches

I woke up missing my father terribly this morning. I have always meant to talk about him more here, to share both the good and bad (and there was definitely both), but it has been hard with the transition, with the changes in my life and just how tired I have been. This last couple … Continue reading Fried Bologna and Spam Sandwiches

Highway to Hell and my dad (music/memory)

ACDC has always been part of my life as far back as I can remember. My parents listened to bands like ACDC, then others like Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Queen, etc. My strongest memory of ACDC though is one Sunday morning we were getting ready to go to church. Church was a rare event for … Continue reading Highway to Hell and my dad (music/memory)

Jessie’s Girl and Wolsey (music/memory)

See bottom of post for pronoun disclaimer (note 1): Jessie's Girl has a special place in my heart. It reminds me of my husband and the time before we got together ( before he was my wife, or even girlfriend) . The song fit pretty squarely as part of the soundtrack of my life. This … Continue reading Jessie’s Girl and Wolsey (music/memory)