Santa Jaws should have been drowned before it started.

Movie: Santa Jaws
Genre(s): Sci Fi/Horror
Release Date: 2019
Studio: Active Entertainment
Director: Misty Talley
Actors: Reid Miller, Courtney Lauren Cummings, Jim Klock
Length: 1 hour 28 minutes

Official Summary: A young aspiring comic book artist is gifted a mysterious pen that brings his drawing to life. Now his creation, Santa Jaws, begins to devour his family and the remaining must battle for survival against this creature.

My 240 Character Thought (doesn’t deserve a long review): A very bad movie about a kid who uses a magic pen to create a Santa Shark (shark with Santa hat) who eats people. An Amazon streaming mess and is as bad as it sounds. I love B grade horror, this is Z grade and should be drowned before it started.


Spring Breakers aka White Whiney Women.

Movie: Spring Breakers
Genre(s): Drama/Crime
Release Date: September 4, 2012
Studio: Muse Productions
Director: Harmony Koine
Actors: James Franco, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine
Length: 93 minutes

Official Summary: Brit, Candy, Cotty, and Faith have been best friends since grade school. They live together in a boring college dorm and are hungry for adventure. All they have to do is save enough money for spring break to get their shot at having some real fun. A serendipitous encounter with rapper “Alien” promises to provide the girls with all the thrill and excitement they could hope for. With the encouragement of their new friend, it soon becomes unclear how far the girls are willing to go to experience a spring break they will never forget.

My 200 Character Thoughts (doesn’t deserve a long review): A sad sad story of entitled white women who whine about “being bored” yet never having to work a day in their life. The biggest shame of this movie is that they didn’t get the just desserts that they deserved. Rename it “White Whiney Women”.