Electrolysis Trip #2 – Day 2 and 3

Another late post, but life is going at a million miles an hour. Then again Day 2 and 3 were remarkably quiet.

The biggest thing of course was a combined 10 hours of electrolysis I got. I sat as two wonderful people worked on my face at the same time for five hours. They got a large chunk of my face done. This included all around my mouth, almost to my chin and all the way up the left side of my face. Even now, two weeks later, I have a lot of smooth skin, especially above the lips (the important spot).

I had planned on going out later that night, but you can see from the pictures that I was feeling rough, I definitely wasn’t feeling feminine and we hid out for the entire day eating grocery store food and door dash Mexican food. It wasn’t a bad night.

The next day was a little better. I woke up feeling ugly duckling, but decided fuck it and I would dress up anyways. I got some looks from the locals, but no one had the cajones to say anything so we remained where we were, ate La Quinta breakfast and then turned in our room key (btw the Tempe LQ SUCKS, it was dirty, loud and at no time did we feel safe).

We then went and saw Charlie’s Angels. I enjoyed the movie thoroughly, albeit I admit it wasn’t “good cinema”. After that we went to Del Agave in Scottsdale and had a wonderful meal. The server/bartender Daniel was a great guy, I felt safe (probably the safest place I had felt in Arizona) and told us what to order that was the best, and he was right (and it wasn’t the most expensive dish).

 

Hubby was happy for real food

We had an encounter after the meal though, walking to our car a guy was walking his two kids. He spotted us and loudly proclaimed the following:

Dad: So kids, who are we voting for in 2020?
Kids: Donald Trump!!!

Yep, the asshole said it as an intimidation factor because he saw I was transgender. I thought momentarily about going over there and handling it verbally, but he had kids and I was feeling fairly vulnerable after the electrolysis, but I decided not to. I thought the hubby was going to kill him though, that is why I love the man.

I was surprised when we boarded the plane that a very conservative lady (with a church group) told her husband to let “her” through so “she” can get her stuff and she smiled at me. I cannot even explain how nice it was to have someone validate me, especially someone who looked fairly conservative, after the Trump asshole. It put me in a better mood.

We then got back to the airport, waiting around for a few hours and flew home. I always forget how much I miss it here until I land in the Pacific Northwest

Phoenix Airport Encounter

I posted a bit earlier on an encounter at the Phoenix airport, but I thought I would go into a little more detail here.

The day before went really well. We ran around a bit and I went in and met some really great people at Senza Pelo Med Spa who would do my electrolysis. They were pretty damn spectacular and deserve a post later.  They did nine hours of electrolysis and while my face was puffy I was (and still am) happy with the result.

Me getting electrolysis

That night was fine, my face looked like a prize fighter had worked me over but my goatee area had never been that smooth ever and I was ecstatic. I woke up with the bruising on my lip and chin area and puffy. I was tired, hungry (as I haven’t been able to keep down food the whole time I was down there) and I just looking forward to getting out of the 110 degree Phoenix heat. The one good thing I had was my hubby who was doing what he could to take care of me.

We drove back to the airport and I couldn’t get out of Arizona fast enough. The last two days I have been getting a lot more rude side eye, or absolute straight on staring at me. I get that at home in Seattle area of course, but I get a hell of a lot more support. Also, I don’t have to panic every time I go into a bathroom, or get the annoyed looking women when I step out of a stall.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that Arizona might have “come a long way” but it certainly isn’t close to the Pacific Northwest (where I still have to be careful). Not once did I feel safe, not even in boy mode when I had my beard grown out.

There were supporters of course, not nearly as many but I did get smiles, head nods and some people would come over and talk with me. Not everyone is bad, and I don’t think a majority is necessarily bad, but the majority is silent and that is almost as bad. Combine this to the stupidity of the Fox News channel that was on everywhere made me remember I am not safe and I am not home.

Fast forward to the airport. I had crossed security and that went incredibly well. They were respectful and there was a lot of levity when once again I got patted down. This time it was an elderly lady but she was pretty sweet. The only weird thing is when we arrived they seemed surprised that the hubby and I got in the first class line. They obviously assume all transgender people would only fly coach and were poor. I am struggling financially but only due to student loan and FFS payment, otherwise we do pretty good for a living.

We were in the main gate area and the hubby needed to use the restroom. So I did what I normally did and stood against the wall outside the bathroom. I watched the people go by and I felt super uncomfortable. I couldn’t put much makeup on due to the swelling, I was hot, uncomfortable and was getting a lot of stares (not even side-eye, but full on staring at me as they walked by).

That is when this one conservative looking douchebro steps up, not more than a few feet from me, pulls out his phone as he is making some snide comment I didn’t quite catch and took a photo of me standing there.

I am not sure at what point of what he did that I decided “fuck it” but that was it, that was the last thing I was putting up with and for a brief moment I stepped off the wall and up to his face. I honestly don’t know what he saw but he panicked and backed up. He obviously did not expect me to react aggressively, and for some reason even though I was standing straight I don’t think he realized I was as tall as I am.

I shouldn’t have reacted like that. It is dangerous there, I could have been broadsided by someone else. I am in a hostile state, with a hell of a lot of hostile people and the worst part if I get arrested (which undoubtably would be the case if it was his word against mine) I probably go to a male jail and if I am lucky it would just be solitary.

I stopped myself and he scattered on his way like a scaredy cat. I was really angry at that point, and disappointed in myself for doing it, and disappointed I had stopped myself. It was just a natural thing to step up and part of me thought I failed for not shoving him (growing up with bikers and a father who in my childhood definitely taught me what should be done when you are insulted… although I think by the time he got older and passed he would have been happy I didn’t do something to get hurt, weird how people change over their lives). I also felt like a disappointment that I might inconvenience the husband, or if I had caused a ruckus I don’t want to add any negative press to my other trans/non-binary people.

So I stepped back against the wall. I knew he had a picture, and I knew it was a useless idea to go chasing to get it back, so instead I took a picture of myself so I could post it. It gave me some sort of feeling of control (stupid I know). For some reason I felt I needed to get my picture out there before him. So here is my picture:

no glamour shot here – I was really upset

Pardon the grumpiness, the tiredness and the not even close too presentableness. Tired, sweaty and no makeup with bruising starting up on my face made this not my favorite picture. Oh and Fuck Him and the horse he rode in on.

Fortunately we flew out about an hour later, and four hours later I was in Seattle and immediately felt safer, and that I was home. So here I am now home, in my house and comfortable and still really upset by that guy.

 

Spotted in Phoenix – Sunday Edition

Today in our “Spotted in Phoenix” segment we saw some interesting people.

We came down to the two waffle makers and there were two guys who didn’t know each other messing around with the waffle area. The guy on the left was messing around with things that weren’t waffles, but he still decided to stand in front of the first waffle maker

That first guy work a “Don’t Tread on Me” t-shirt, with flags/snakes/eagles. It was the same guy that wore a “Fuck ISIS” t-shirt yesterday. He was a larger guy (larger then me, but I don’t think as tall) with a salt and pepper goatee from the 90s. He was looking us up and down, I didn’t notice because I was trying to help the second guy (with no effect) so it was the hubby who noted his look

The second guy had a don’t tread on me tattoo and couldn’t figure out how to make waffles. He looked like a kid from elementary school lost on his first day of school. I had to point out that the timer wasn’t working, I asked if he had turned the waffle iron to start the timer. He told me he had already done that. I then noticed that he kept opening the waffle maker. I could see parts of waffle stuck to the top as he kept closin, waiting 10 seconds and opening it again.

He was one of those young fit guys who shouldn’t be allowed away from his girlfriend or the house will catch fire (those kind of people they make sitcom episodes about). At the end when he left I saw him flip the waffle iron over and viola the waffle timer started. I asked if he wanted to make another one, but obviously he was too embarressed and kept going.

Then we had an old man who asked for a large garbage bag from the front desk. He then walked over to the breakfast area and started filling it with muffins. He then walked over to me, started loading up peanut butter packets, bagels, bread and other things. It was full by the time he was done. He also went into depth about using the peanut butter for those peanut butter bones for his dog. I couldn’t resist so I helped him find the extra stash of peanut butter packets.

Then I saw two different older ladies come down and like locusts clear out all of the baked goods, eggs and sausage. They really were locusts and as they moved down the baked food the shelves were left empty. They then immediately turned around and went back to their rooms in different directions.

It was an interesting experience. What is it with “Don’t tread on me” libertarian/republicans. I see them a lot here, and it definitely makes me realize why Trump/GOP Sellouts won down here.

I was also surprised by the  locusts. No matter how poor I grew up, we would never have stripped all the food on the shelves. We would have taken stuff back like a couple of muffins, but there is a limit. Although I really kind of liked the guy with the garbage bag, that took cajones, and he was fairly nice and very friendly. That is probably why I helped him find the extra peanut butter.

Winter 2017 PHX Surgery Trip Day 2-4

The last three days were a little stressful, but mostly unassuming. First let’s cover our Ghost cat status. Torie was kind enough to feed him.

The hubby and I went to his final pre-op appointment on Tuesday, where we waited for the doc to get caught up. Finally we met, talked and things looked good for the surgery.

We then went to the surgical center, where he would stay a day before being released. Once again we waited, and about an hour after surgery was supposed to start our doc arrived for that (are you seeing a pattern yet). Hubby was incredibly happy to get it started.

His usually happiness symbol.

The day ended with the hubby getting out of surgery, being rolled back to his room and resulted in me visiting with him for a few hours before going back to the hotel room.

I arrived early (after having a great waffle breakfast at my La Quinta hotel) and prepared for the hubby to be released. His initial schedule was somewhere between 10-11am. We eventually checked him out at 5:30pm (see that pattern) and this was without even seeing the doc. We were told to check with the office on Friday for when they will want to see hubby to pull his drain out.

He waited so long to be discharged

We went to bed and finally woke up today (Friday). We went and had a great waffle breakfast which made him very happy. We then moved on to more laying in bed while he heals. We tried getting a hold of the office but found not only were they closed, but their phones were disconnected…

We left a message on the nurse’s separate line and she called back eventually, arranging us an 8:30 am appt on Monday that is right before our flight. Unsatisifying to me, but I will take what we can get.

Just so happy to have the surgery over with, now time for healing.

Finally I had realized I had forgotten my battery I use to charge my iPad/iPhone at the hospital so I picked it up, picked up some Red Robin burgers for the hubby and now here I am sitting in the room letting him heal. So that is it for this report. Stay tuned there will be more updates and I will eventually write a full review of this experience 🙂

 

Winter 2017 PHX Surgery Trip Day 1

Our first day of travel went really well. Our flight was slightly later then normal which means we didn’t leave house until 5:30am, our normal time we go to work. That meant we were doing a bit better on sleep then expected.

We arrived at the airport and went through a busy security checkpoint quickly because the DoD has given us the “pre-check” status so we avoid most of it. I will probably miss that when we eventually leave.

Security line sucked.

Oh, surprise note, the Lyft driver dropped us off at arrivals instead of departures. The departures area had a half of mile of cars waiting to drop off, the arrivals was empty and we went up two escalators and ended up at security ahead of a huge wait. Thank you for that pro-tip Lyft guy.

The flight itself was pretty straightforward. We were surprised at how cheap first class was (we bought tickets six months ahead) and so my legs actually fit and I didn’t feel clausterphobic. We landed in Phoenix and found the temperature was only about 70 degrees and everyone was wearing pants, well of course except for hubby and I. This is summer weather for Seattle so we had shorts and sandals. Some photos from the flight below:

We had some lunch, checked in to our hotel and then went and saw Justice League (spoiler alert, wasn’t as bad as I had worried, there is a review coming). Finally we got home, laid in bed watching Shark Tank (yes, I do that sometimes) and then fell asleep.

 

In reality a pretty low key day, even with travel.

How does Phoenix rank for LGBTQA Experience?

survey-checkbox-istock-580

I have to admit it, right now my experiences in other cities dealing with the LGBTQA thing hasn’t been super good. Philadelphia was good, Denver kind of sucked, Atlanta really sucked, so coming to Phoenix I was pretty sure it would be the same.

It wasn’t, overall it was a good experience, barring one funny negative experience that really wasn’t negative.

Our arrival in Phoenix was marked by a rare homophobic event. We were in line at Alamo Car Rental, and ahead of us we watched a couple get harassed by an Alamo agent. He was pushing the “walk away” insurance, and all the extra things. He was pushing it hard enough that it made the rest of the line nervous.

clueless-alamo-rollin-with-the-homies-in-an-alamo-rental-car

It was our turn, as we stepped up I braced for the selling pitch. He began a long spiel of why we needed the walk away insurance, that Arizona law lets them claim for lost days if the car was damaged, etc etc. It was then my wonderful husband spoke up and asked me a question, but used the term “sweetie” for me.

The guy froze, his head went back and forth between us, and without any further mention he has me sign off the contract and we walk away without him saying a word. So while it sucked he obviously had a problem that two guys were together, it worked in our favor and the spiel stopped.

i-hate-the-word-homophobia

Our next encounter was at the Scottsdale’s Museum of the West. Once again most of the staff were older people, so we were prepared to get a hard time. When our tour guide Judith arrived to give the tour, my fears blossomed. She was an older, conservative appearing woman.

However, she realized fairly soon into the tour (followed by a second tour for a different subject) that the hubby and I were together. Instead of any homophobia, she just talked to us even more. She seemed overjoyed that we liked listening to the tour, and wanted to know the history. It was definitely a great experience, and Judith is a great lady.

Dr. Meltzer’s office of course is super accepting, so we don’t need to go into that, but the Greenbaum surgical center was an unknown. However we arrived there and ALL of the staff were great, accepting of me arriving at any time day or not to visit the hubby. At no point did I not feel welcomed. It was impressive.

The rest of the time there was spent mostly in the hotel room, so the only other people we really saw were the hotel staff and they didn’t blink an eye at us. I don’t know if they were ok with us, but they kept their professional cool if they did.

That means Phoenix ranks a close second behind Philadelphia in my experience in accepting LGBTQA. I am not addressing the governmental/legal standpoint of transgender people here, just my experience with individuals

Of course I am posting this Sunday, a day early from our trip ending, hopefully that won’t change in the next day.

Surgery Trip: Day 6, 7 and 8

Day 4 has come and gone and it was less exciting then other days. The morning started out bright, sunny and warm. I believe it was 79 degrees when I went to visit the hubby in the morning around 6am. I know it was pretty, and I can tell there should be color there, but […]

I am posting this as a combined post for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That is because all we are doing is huddling in the hotel room, hubby is sleeping a lot and we are just waiting for the healing.

I did end up going out to get him food in the 105 degree heat, yes that is how much I love him :).

So all I really have are a few pictures to share.

Constant sleep is good

This is why I will never live here.

Getting packed to go home

There we go, that was the boring three days. More to come

Surgery Trip: Day 5

Day 4 has come and gone and it was less exciting then other days. The morning started out bright, sunny and warm. I believe it was 79 degrees when I went to visit the hubby in the morning around 6am. I know it was pretty, and I can tell there should be color there, but […]

Day 5 was relegated to just a few things due to the hubby getting out of the surgical center.

I woke up fairly early and was tired but happy. I was excited to bring him back with me today. I wasn’t up very long before the hubby was chatting at me on iMessage. We both have been missing each other so I wanted to get into the hospital early to talk and hang with him until he checked out.

On my way to the surgical center I decided I wanted to try a local coffee shop, I asked Wolsey if he wanted some and he said no. It looked a lot like a coffee shop in Seattle. The name was Echo Coffee, and while I won’t say it “wowed” me with the coffee, it was acceptable (if not quite hot enough).

Needing coffee

When I got to the surgical center I found the hubby gossiping to the nurse. He was telling the nurse about the incident that occurred in Philadelphia, between me and a “barista”. It wasn’t bad, but it was pretty funny.

When I was in Philadelphia for work training,  I went to this small bodega (really small) that sold coffee. I asked for a large cup of black coffee and they handed it to me. I took a sip, and before I could even think about it I had said “NOPE!” and in one motion handed it back to the cashier. It had to have been on the burner for hours.

It was a horrible burnt coffee. I feel I wasn’t being picky, it was just foul. The cashier seemed confused on why I didn’t like the coffee. Before I could say a word, one of the other people in my training in Philadelphia said without prompting, “Oh he is from Seattle” as if that was all that was needed.

The weird thing is the cashier gave me my money back, apologized and when I came in later that morning had fresh coffee. I still felt bad I had said nope and handed it back to them before I had even consciously registered it.

I met with the hubby and he was in his normal good spirits again.

The next day even better

The rest of the day consisted of me going back home, because they weren’t ready to release him, then coming back to the hospital and talking to the doc. He was less interested in talking about the hubby’s surgery and more about bicycling in Phoenix 105 degree weather. That is a good sign that the hubby is doing great.

We eventually got checked out of the surgical center, grabbed some fast food and the hubby waddled into the room and crawled in bed. I eventually ended up joining him, and for the first time in a very long 56 hours, I got to lay beside the most important person in the world.

We finally are together again.

The rest of the day and evening consisted of hanging around the room. The next few days will probably not have much happen as he lays down and heals.

I am so damn happy to have him back. I don’t think I could explain enough.

Surgery Trip: Day 4

Day 4 has come and gone and it was less exciting then other days.

The morning started out bright, sunny and warm. I believe it was 79 degrees when I went to visit the hubby in the morning around 6am. I know it was pretty, and I can tell there should be color there, but unfortunately for me it is pretty grey. However, for your enjoyment the photo is color.

Today was fantastic. The hubby was rested up a bit more, he was feeling pretty good and was more talkative. He still occasionally drifted off, but we spent a lot of time on and off. I ended up going over I think it was four times. I would stay for an hour or two, come back to the hotel room. I would have stayed longer but I think I was having heat issues, it is too damn hot.

Doing better the day after

I went and picked up some lunch/dinner between third and fourth visit. Wolsey had mentioned people don’t buy ice cream and go home with it when they eat out, that it melts too soon. I will be honest, I thought that was bullshit, so I went and ordered two cheeseburgers and a small shake from McDonalds. I was in an air conditioned car (that was chilly), went through drive through and went straight home. The shake was in good shape when I stopped at the hotel. I got out and walked about 40 feet to the door to inside the hotel, then another 100 feet, I  got back to the hotel room and it was completely melted. I had been proven wrong, and hubby was completely right.

Torie did feed Ghost tonight as well, she sent a picture, evidently tonight was not as good. We have five more nights to go, but he will be ok, probably just a little feral. I am grateful that Torie is doing this, he would have been so much worse in a kennel.

Someone is terrified of Torie

I collapsed in bed and napped a little. Then went back and visited him for the final time. I got back and was anxious that he wasn’t there so I did some Order of Battle let’s play (military strategy game). I then crawled in bed and was completely exhausted.

Oh, and I was awoken by HBO playing Crimson Peaks, and one of the spirits was screaming, ya that wasn’t fun.

Surgery Trip: Day 3

Today is S-Day, Surgery Day. Wolsey and I didn’t sleep much at all overnight, between his surgery prep and general anxiety we both were a bit on edge. Oh, did I forget to mention that at 1am our fire alarm began beeping, signaling it was out of battery. Fortunately Wolsey took the lead and fixed it by taking the alarm down (after contacting the desk).

We were up at 0415 and nope, we weren’t feeling any better than 1am. We gathered our clothes together, got dressed and headed out to Greenbaum Surgery Center at 0500. It was completely empty outside. If this was Seattle the roads would already be busy, but everything was empty.

On the way to surgery
85 degrees at 4:30am WTF

We arrived to the dark surgery center and sat there watching conservative local news for about 20 minutes. It was then that Wolsey checked in, signed off the paperwork and got ready for surgery. I have to say the receptionist was absolutely the most supportive receptionist I have seen. It was very reassuring.

Only ones here
Checking in to surgery

We sat for awhile, watching horrible news, surfing the net, until they came out and asked Wolsey back. He disappeared for about 30 minutes when they came out and got me to come back. I sat with him for awhile, got to see Dr. Webb, and Wolsey’s anesthesiologist (sorry I don’t remember his name). Finally I got to meet Wolsey’s nurse, a great older man who was joking about his husband (I believe his name was Jeff).

Going into surgery

I left, went home and ate breakfast. Eventually I was heading out to go see a movie at 10am when I got a call from Jeff saying Wolsey had successfully made it through the hysterectomy, oophorectomy, and vaginectomy with no problems at all. All that was left was medioplasty. This meant he might be out before the movie was over, so instead I swung by Arizona Territory, a souvenir store and picked him up an Arizona souvenir spoon and an Arizona Ranger badge.

It was hours of waiting for him to get out of surgery. Eventually I got a call that he was out and in recovery. Instead of going directly there (well I went there and found he couldn’t have visitors) I went and had a nice lunch at the local Denny’s. I haven’t been in a Denny’s in years, and the last two times sucked, but this was like the Denny’s from my teen years and was worth it.

I finally got back to the hospital and he was in his room. He was incredibly smiley, still drugged but happy to see me. He was in great shape and between falling asleep he would chat with me. After about an hour and a half I left him so he could fully sleep. I went back to the hotel and laid in bed waiting to fall asleep, I would go into see him as soon as I was up and moving. Damn even one night away from him is hard, tomorrow night will be twice as hard.

Post surgery is rough

Oh, and Ghost had eaten his food yesterday so when our friend came over she found him again not too keen on her being there. I feel bad for him.

SaveSave