2013 was a pretty good year for us. On April 7th we were enjoying our lunch at Pho Mai Noodles in Everett. Wolsey’s health was improving (he was going into remission) and he was starting his year of testing being fully female before transitioning (I didn’t know that at the time).
Today I (hopefully we) celebrate 28 years of being married. Today marks the day that at age 21, I married my 20-year-old best friend, lover, and confidant.
I want to wax poetic about the day we got married and the whole situation of our relationship, but I will do that at a later point. Right now I just want to express how happy I am to be here 28 years later after he asked me to marry him and I said yes.
Our lives have had a lot of struggle and pain, but I still feel I won life by marrying him. The fact he stayed married to me after I was particularly shitty on our wedding night shows how much he loves me. That post is coming soon, yes I am honest about my shitty behavior as well.
He means everything to me. He is my best friend, my favorite lover, my favorite author, mechanic, cheesecake model, all of it.
I am not joking when I say he has saved my life multiple times since I got to k now him at the age of 16. I can’t imagine my life without him now, I suspect I will be one of those spouses who wouldn’t survive very long without him.
I love you my heart. I would do anything for you. Just say the words. Oh, and once again, Happy Anniversary my love!!!
I can’t tell you how much I love you…. except to say Forever.
Just an update on my back tattoo on Christmas Day 2012 (12/25/2012). Down to only two or three more sessions. When I get it finished I will get closer photos so you can see the details (there are a lot of details).
Also, I am trying to put more pictures up of myself. I have a lot of body issues with myself, its a reason there are very few photos of me compared to my family friends. I have lately come to the realization that I need to accept myself, and the way I look. I am going to continue to try and get healthy, but I need to accept I am heading for 42 and the odds are a lot less likely I will ever be skinny again then when I was 30 (and honestly I was about this size then). I just need to realize that others will either find me attractive or they won’t, and it is their loss if they don’t.
Here is another pic, since I don’t have any taken today I figured I would upload another one. This one is from my Boy Scout days (thats me on the left, eyes closed wearing a yellow rain jacket, my friend Joey LaPoint on the right). This is sometime around 1981-82. I was a fairly active member of the Boy Scout, even though we were poor my parents scrapped together enough to send me.
This trip was rather hellish – especially since it was a four day weekend. To start it off we (as in my family) couldn’t afford a backpack, so I brought my gear in a suitcase that was bigger then me (I shit you not, I could climb in it). We got to the parking area for the camp. Since we got there so late we had to actually (as a scout troop) camp at the parking area until morning. This was then when my group (four of us) realized we had forgotten the poles to our tent. The first night we had to string the tent itself across a picnic bench and slept under it. We woke up the next morning sore, wet and tired. After a quick breakfast we hiked close to four miles, for a city boy thats a long ways (as can be seen I wasn’t tubby, just a normal kid). This hike sucked even more because all my camping gear was in my suitcase, I had never realized before (and have never forgotten since) that hauling suitcases long distance sucks.
We got to the beach at the end of the trail and the scout troop made camp. Our group, with the help of our scout leader was able to string our tent up using rope and trees. He then told us we should hang our food up high (this is important to note for later in the story). Being the young kids we were, we were in a hurry so we buried the food next to our tent.
At this same place was a small mini-mountain that extended into the Pacific Ocean. It was low tide so you could cross and sit up on top of it (it was a couple of hundred feet tall, ok thats what it seemed like, it probably wasn’t quite so tall if I saw it now). We played on it while a storm rolled in. My little squad didn’t notice the tide rising until it had cut us off from the beach. Our scoutmaster yelled we would have to weather it since we were dumbasses who didn’t come back when told. Long after dark the tide receded and several very wet kids crawled down the mountain and into our tent.
We then laid in the tent and promptly fell asleep. We were woken up once by a Bear nearby (s/he was probably smelling our food) and that was it. We woke up bright and early the next morning. That is when we found our food dug up. Evidently the night before, raccoons had dug up our food and took off with it. They even got our Top Ramen soup packets (they left the noodles). For the next day and a half we had to eat Top Ramen plain. This would explain my adult hatred of top ramen (even if I don’t mind the other stuff).
By the end of our trip I was sick (as in pukey), exhausted, and sort of numb all over. We were wet, cold and had just hiked another three miles back in, before that happened however; the assistant scoutmaster took pity on me and fed me some Cinnamon Apple Oatmeal, with grape Kool-Aid (which I promptly puked up, I have to say grape Kool-Aid is nastier coming up then going down). Before the sickness hit me though, he snapped this picture of me.
Its funny, ever since then I have hated Top Ramen, and Grape Kool-Aid. I have also a fondness for Cinnamon-Apple Quaker Oatmeal. I think part of it, when growing up, we were too poor to ever afford oatmeal that came in packets (especially flavored), so not only was it the first real food in a weekend, it was a definite treat, since we could have never had that at home.
This morning I woke up feeling like shit physically, mentally and emotionally. I probably will call the boys in a little bit and cancel hanging out. I think I got a cold, combine that with the shit my sister pulled and the stress I am feeling about my dad being in jail all in all makes me a nasty guy at the moment.
I hate the world and I am just hoping someone gives me lip so I can beat them into the ground (ok I wont, and I know thats a bad thing, but thats the crappy mood I am in).
I am a little stressed about our car situation, its not for me or the wife, we both do fine without a car, its my mom, she has some major surgical stuff coming up and my dumbass meth-head sister is never reliable to her or my dad. I get worried on how she will get places. I probably wont try and get the car fixed, its just something I am a little fixated on and worried about.
I have thought about it and I have to put my tattoo off til at least March (unless I get a job before then, then I can spend money on Tats). I do have the money in my pocket for the outlining of it, but I dont feel I can contribute that money for it. The wife’s back is hurting and she is saving up for a mattress that will help, and honestly as far as priorities go she is my ultimate number one priority, I would drop anything in my life for her needs and would kill someone for her if it was needed (and there are people out there rolling their eyes about that, lol its funny because its true).
I lucked out when I found someone to be so devoted to that she doesn’t take advantage of it. She needs a good mattress and her feeling better physically means she is happier which in the end makes me happier.
I am also slightly frustrated with my clan, dont get me wrong I have a reliable core (Yog, Astarte, Deep One, Tsathoggua, Nng and a couple of others) but the rest only bitch about wanting admin access and how they try to split hairs on the requirements for the clan. I have the strongest urge to go through and fire 50% of the clan just to par it down, but I wont. I feel I need to do it right and give them every opportunity to show me they want to be in it for any other reason then admin access on the public server.
If finances are poor next quarter they will be surprised when I reduce the server to a 12 man private server for matches only, Some would say but “Lilith is already paying for a 12 man private server” but if I reduced it down I would have her stop paying as I think its my responsibility to provide the server and no sense in having two private servers unless we branched out into DoD (which I wouldnt mind). On a good note practices have been extremely good, a large turnout and people seem excited about the upcoming competitions. I think Nng is right, I am too nice sometimes, maybe I will cut that back.
As for the rest of my personal life in this crappy mood I am in consists mostly of C++ projects and ASP.Net projects (which when I learn ASP will rock, because then I can program a database for Dying Light that is self updating and completely set up so anyone can access thier characters on the internet, buy thier own skills and print out thier own tags before game. Thus reducing Logistics to new players and me maintaining the database and ensuring no errors occur. WOOOT totally automated and accurate logistics I can not even imagine that.
Well Crappiness is still with me, better contact the boys.
Its been a long week for me. I found out December 30th that my dad got busted for old DUI warrants from 4 1/2 years ago and now he is in jail. On top of this the next day he went before the one judge in all of the county that hates his guts (the judge specifically reversed the order of the cases so my dad would go last, even the Bailiff was a little weirded out about how the judge did that).
The rub of this is that this was also the last day this judge would be around, he was retiring starting the next day. Not only did he slap 1.5 times the normal bail, he then turned around, doubled it again and told the court that my father could not use a bail bond for his bail, he would have to post with cash only.
Now even with all these hiked up numbers it comes to only $7,000 but no one in my family has that kind of money so my dad sits in jail. I got to visit him today, actually he was much better looking then he has for awhile. They don’t allow smoking or drinking in jail so my dad is starting to feel better (he has emphysema but keeps smoking like a chimney). He looks healthier and he has a lot of his old energy. I am pretty sure that in the end this is the best thing that could have happened to him because it gets his past behind him and now he will deal with the results and move on.
It was a pain in the butt to go visit though, I hate jails (when I was a kid he got in a lot of fights and was in jail a good amount of the time) and of course this brought back all the old memories. I have been in a black mood all day and probably mostly due to this experience (anticipating the trip to visit my father in jail). Well its over now, I feel remarkably better, he seemed happier if you could believe it.
Don’t get me wrong, my dad is an awesome guy, he just likes his alcohol alot (probably the biggest reason I dont drink, alcoholism runs in the family pretty badly). He is pretty intent on quitting drinking and smoking (which may sound like something anyone would say when in this situation but he normally will not admit to quitting anything longer then “a few weeks” this is the first time in a long long time he has told me he intends on quitting permanently).
So on the way home I used some saved up money, bought two steaks, some salad makings and some mushrooms to use with the steak and I plan on cooking the wife some dinner later tonight, too exhausted to do it right now. Maybe I will go play some CS.
I am getting heavy eyelid syndrome so I will sign off now, everyone have a good day.
Well here I am, its Thanksgiving. Our car is broken we are broke and in general its not a lot of fun right now. I found out that at this point in the quarter I am getting a solid A in my CS202 class but that I am barely (I mean by the skin of my teeth) getting a C in Chemistry. Its absolutely the worst grade I have ever recieved since I was in High School. I think the most frustrating part is I have completed 76% of the points in Chem (giving it a solid C) yet my professor’s curve has me at a 70.0% I realize that is only 6% less but the final is coming up and I am feeling very shaky on the subject matter.
Honestly its my fault. I love my Autistic nephew Noah and when I volunteered to be one of his ABA therapists in August I figured it was only a few hours a week commitment. It would have only been a few hours a week commitment if I didnt start trying to help them with everything. The Head Therapist they have is a joke and she was just sucking money out of my sister-inlaw and my mother and father in-laws.
So I spent 3 months stressing and trying to coerce her into actually working and doing things that are actually helping Noah. After 3 months of stress in October I had to quit. It was taking too much of a toll on my personal life and school. The end result is I had put so much emotional energy and time into it that my grades were suffering horribly. I had to drop my Math class and I was close to failing my Chem class as well. I have slowly gotten up to the C but I am worried that if I blow the final it will drop me back down.
Wierd thing is CS (Computer Science classes for those that dont know what CS means) have always been easy and I am fortunate I had Professor Granier teaching the class. That is probably enough whining about school right now. I dont want to worry about losing financial aid for not completing more then 6 credits with a C or higher so I will have to force myself to pass the finals.
I by no means wish to run all over town to different houses for Thanksgiving (we usually have to do this for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, visit both sets of parents). Its weird, my parents are ok with us only seeing them one holiday or at least the day before or after. They understand that the dates we celebrate family themselves are unimportant.
The spousal unit’s family was a little different up til this year. She would get calls and harassed to show up, lots of guilt trips. This year amazingly enough there has been no pressure from either side about Thanksgiving. Sad part is I miss the Turkey and Pie (well probably the pie and sweet potatoes more then the turkey). Hmm maybe I should go make some chocolate chip cookies. I love baking, maybe when we get our student loan in January I will get a Baking cookbook.
Gallery: Dying Light Playtest Date: August 4, 2002 Location: Cornwall Park, Bellingham WA
Well, our first day of play-testing helped. Oh my god, it rocked. The system is excellent giving everyone their own special abilities and combat is even more exciting then Legacies ever was. The biggest advantage is that combat is quick. In Legacies group combat that we had during play-tested would have lasted 10-15 minutes. During play-test true combat was over in less than 5. The funny thing was combat was still very equivalent to any of the awesome battles we have in Legacies.
Honestly ever since we gave up Legacies I have noticed a large percentage of the people who proclaimed to be our friend and like what we did with Legacies are now spouting shit out of their asses. It’s really frustrating to hear things concerning “the previous owners who screwed up the game” did they even understand that Legacies was over when we picked it up.
MH (name removed to protect the dumb) and crew had decided it was over, me and wife at the great personal expense (about $8000 and bankruptcy) and got it going again. Of course, we saw the “good old boys network” as wrong and we took the “privileges” away from that certain people like Microsoft Douche, Mt. Baker High asshole, and others. We made them play the same rules as everyone else and like little babies they quit and didn’t come back. We spent a lot of time on Legacies and all we got was shit back.
I gotta feel sorry for Pinky (called that because he is a large man who is partnered with a very small man who makes plans and I have named “The Brain) because I am hearing things already about how “fucked up the new owners are” and I know that Pinky is a great guy and doesn’t deserve that kind of shit.
After Legacies, I was very much of the opinion that Larping sucked ass and I never wanted to see Larpers again. Now I realize that not everyone falls under this category but it is easy to stereotype. However the wifey really wanted to try Dying Light so I sat down and came up with the thought process behind the uni class system, handed wifey the notes (which were written on Shari’s napkins), and she created it into a clear and concise set of rules. Then with much input and advice from Dunk, we got the rules finalized. Then wifey did a huge ton of work on the histories, meanwhile, I have created the website, and the monster manual (plus the entire setup for a new logistics, not at all like the old model at Legacies). But to be honest I have always felt doubt about Dying Light. Well, today that Doubt was almost completely erased. We had 11 playtesters and we went out to the park with full costumes (people thought we were strange).
The day was great, we found the system to be extremely streamlined and the combat and system incredibly simple. After all this, I am excited about the next playtest (which is probably going to be August 25th). So this means I think we have an awesome Larp and I think it will be fun. I really hope Sandman and Meta Diva can make it someday (if not to a playtest then to the actual event) it’s awesome and I would love to share it with some of my friends.
Well, I will stop now, this has become a novel-length post, I will probably post tomorrow. I will however leave you with the gallery below from our first play-test.