Miracle medical journey… or how I feel like I was kicked in the balls

One of the items about my wife and I’s relationship change is the possibility of children with another partner (from me, not her). I do not want children at all. I am turning 41 soon and I don’t want to be 60 or older going to my child’s graduation. My wife’s health and family pressures right now wouldn’t handle a child to the mix. Since this is an actual worry if I hooked up with someone else I felt I have a responsibility to ensure there are no accidents. So after talking for awhile I decided my most logical option is to get fixed.

So about two months ago I set up an appointment with Group Health to get fixed. It would require an initial appointment with the surgeon, then the actual date of the surgery. Of course, contrary to what people say about American healthcare, I had to wait almost two months to see someone. Eventually I was able to see my doctor, for sake of this journal let’s call her Doctor S.

The wife and I both went to this appointment (her feedback for this and opinion matter just as much as mine). We sat with Doctor S for about twenty minutes. Doctor S seemed unsure about giving me the procedure, especially since I don’t have kids. She kept pushing the fact that I might want children later. I in turn pushed back that I am almost 41 years old and I am happy not having kids. I haven’t felt any regret about children at all. Finally the wife convinced the Doctor to stop pushing for no-vasectomy. She did this by explaining to the doctor that the wife couldn’t afford to get accidently pregnant due to her medical condition. It is partially true, a hormone fluctuation like that could be devastating to the wife, of course she left out the part that she has been fixed since she was 22.

Once the doctor agreed to do the procedure, they set me up for the actual operation. It was three and a half weeks later (which was last Thursday). I have been a little stressed about this for several reasons, mostly the idea of a knife and my testicles doesn’t go well for me.

The day of the procedure I found I had put the wrong time of the appointment down. The wife and I ended up at the Group Health facility at 9am only to discover my appointment was at 2:30pm. I had already taken the valium (and was a little loopy). The office was nice, prescribed me a second valium for when I came back in and we went home. I should note here the wife was awesome. She drove me there and back and she hates driving. I felt so bad that she had done that.

We got the script, and waited around until Torie showed up (she was going to come over after the original procedure to be there for us). She ended up being here before the actual procedure and she agreed to take us down (the wife hates driving and after taking a second valium I was way too loopy).

We drove down and I was brought in fairly quickly. There was a medical assistant that I will name J. J took me back into my room. She was probably the most unfriendly of all MA’s I have met before. She really didn’t have much small talk and sort of ignored me. She had me climb on the table while Doc S came in the room. J disappeared for most of the procedure.

Now, they said there would be just mild discomfort. You know what…. THEY LIED!!!!. S gave me the lidocaine and I suspect she didn’t wait long enough. There wasn’t any actual pain as if she was cutting me open, but she ranked my balls harder then I have never had happen before. I thought I was going to cry. I could feel her cauterizing the tubes (it was a bizarre pressure, not actual pain, but the longer she kept the cauterizing on the more it was uncomfortable).

By the time she ended the procedure on my left testicle, I was really wondering if this was a mistake. She began on the right testicle, and there was very very little discomfort. This is why I suspect she didn’t wait long enough on the first testicle. The second one was mildly uncomfortable, but nothing bad.

S wrapped up. I watched as she took the tubing from inside my testicle and put it in sample jars. I hadn’t realized that the vas deferens (see wiki link here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vas_deferens) looks like rice a roni. It was strange, and just underlines how our bodies are machinery. I guess they keep the vas deferens to prove that they actually did it. I suppose its to protect them against lawsuits if they grow back.

S smiled at me (she had been warmer during the procedure then during our first visit) and said that J would be in to help clean me up. Mainly all of the iodine that had been used had coated my crotch (there was actually very little blood). So S left and J came in. All J did was toss some towels at me and drop off my script. She then rushed me out of the procedure room (I only had about a minute to try and wipe myself down).

I then limped my way out the procedure room, by myself to my waiting wife and Torie. The wife was wondering why the hell the nurse/MA hadn’t escorted me out as I was having trouble walking.

They then got me home (after a quick Dairy Queen stop) and I have spent the rest of the weekend moving around slowly. I am feeling fairly good and I have no regret for this procedure. I just wish that the medical group was more compassionate.

At least within the next couple of months, if something unexpected happens, I won’t have to worry about pregnancy (just STI’s).

Two Posts, Two Days

I know, this is a surprise for me as well, but a second post in as many days. Its like a Christmas miracle. I just thought I would try and keep up on reporting my boring daily life as I go.

Yesterday was a normal payday. The money slipped into and out of my bank account so fast I couldn’t even be sure I had it. Paid a little on credit, got the wife a haircut/bleach and dyed my hair black. I am now the evil whisper, a coworker thinks I need to grow back my goatee. Maybe I will, it will complete the look at least.

Work is going fairly well honestly. Another coworker of mine got hired at the DCAA. She is taking a 5% paycut this year, but after one year with the feds she will shoot up to GS-11. This means she will be making about 10k more than me. In another year she will be a GS-12 and that will pay about 20k more than me a year. She will wrap up the quick rise as a GS-13 in 3 years and that is making about 40k more than me. The DCAA opened up application process through October for next year. I think I will apply. It means if I got hired in the next round it would be about this time of year and I will have hit my fifth year here at SAO, thus vesting the retirement I have put in.

Gaming life is going pretty slow at the moment. I had to put one of our games on hold until fall at least (I suspect when I start the second game again in the fall it will be Shadowrun, I just can’t get enough interest in the GURPS Partisan game). Also in the three months wife and I are developing the online capability. I know I have several people available online, so we will see how that goes.

Relationship wise things are great. The wife and I are getting along fabulously, and I go on vacation starting Saturday. We also went to the Everett Poly Munch last Friday. That was pretty cool. We met several nice people and we may do breakfast with them at the Hitching Post on Sunday. We also got invited to a lot of different events. I am still a little nervous about that, but I am taking it slowly and if I don’t feel comfortable I won’t do it.

Well, thats it for now. Better get to work 🙂