Highway to Hell and my dad (music/memory)

ACDC has always been part of my life as far back as I can remember. My parents listened to bands like ACDC, then others like Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Queen, etc.

My strongest memory of ACDC though is one Sunday morning we were getting ready to go to church. Church was a rare event for us, my father always had issues with religion after going to Vietnam, and this was one of those days where he was deciding he didn’t want to do it anymore.

My dad a year later, still with that rolling cigarette tobacco sitting next to him, and my little brother.

I was 13 years old, living in our Lombard street apartment with my dad cranking up ACDC at 8am. They had been on a party binge and we all knew my dad wasn’t going with us to church (secretly I was hoping I didn’t have to go).

There had been an argument between my mom and dad over this fact, and my dad said “fuck that, I am staying home and listening to music”. This meant he would probably start drinking while we were at service and that Sunday would be a continuation.

We got dressed and were getting ready to leave, with my dad rolling his cigarette and sitting in his chair. ACDC’s song, “Highway to Hell” was blaring out and my dad was singing to it.

Just before we left my mom started yelling at my dad again. Then something strange happened, and I am not making this up, I watched as the stereo system starting making a clunking sound. Within a few seconds the cassette mechanism spit out the tape and Highway to Hell stopped playing as spooling cassette tape was everywhere.

I watched my dad just stare at the tape deck quietly for a moment. Without a word he stood up and got his coat, then he said, “C’mon lets to church” and we went.

This never permanently effected my dad, the religion problems continued, but he never played loud music and told my mom he was staying home to listen to music again either on a Sunday.

For your listening enjoyment, an oldie but a goodie!:

Jessie’s Girl and Wolsey (music/memory)

See bottom of post for pronoun disclaimer (note 1):

Jessie’s Girl has a special place in my heart. It reminds me of my husband and the time before we got together (before he was my wife, or even girlfriend). The song fit pretty squarely as part of the soundtrack of my life. This was because when I first met Wolsey and fell in love, Wolsey was dating my best friend Doug.

I met Wolsey when I was 17 years old and had just moved to Bellingham WA. I was a virgin, going to my fourth high school in 2.5 years and I had just found a group of friends to hang with. My best friends at the time was Doug  and Jay.

We had met in a geeky Dungeons and Dragons game (and this was summer of 1987 I believe). By the end of that school year (so summer of 1988) my friend had shifted from being a geek to being a stoner/punk (I didn’t, I was sort of my own thing… think older brother from Stranger Things but from a biker family but who is a geeky gamer).

The advantage of Doug and Jay shifting from geek to stoner/punk was meeting new people and one of those new people I met was a very beautiful young lady who eventually would change her name to Wolsey after we had been married for decades (original name is classified as Wolsey hates it).

Wolsey was friends with another girl named Colby and they were also in the punk scene. Colby dated Doug for awhile, and I met Wolsey a couple of times. I thought she was pretty cool, and I was attracted to her. The better part though was I felt like we could be friends.

From R to L: Rob, Colby (laying down), Doug, Wolsey. (yes there is a censor line, the photo reveals a little too much).

Fast forward through teenager drama and Doug and Colby broke up and Doug started dating Wolsey. This meant I saw Wolsey constantly and we became best friends. I introduced Wolsey to Dungeons and Dragons and while Doug and Jay would play but fuck around, Wolsey and I both enjoyed the role-play, the story telling. I learned that while Wolsey looked punk as fuck (and hippy sometimes, Wolsey would float between the two) Wolsey liked reading, stories and was super creative.

Doug and Wolsey moved into their apartment together and I was there all the time. Doug would bail on us and a lot of times it was just Wolsey, myself, with others in our social group hanging out. It was fairly soon after we started hanging out with each other like that, that I fell in love with her (him).

It really was angst with a happy ending!

However, Wolsey was dating my best friend and I absolutely would not do something like try and break in on that. Funny enough the next time I was in this type of relationship situation with another woman I went the other way and not sure that it was any better a result.

Funny enough my parents both knew Wolsey well by this point and tried to get me to pursue her (him). I told them there was no way she was interested in me, and both my parents shook their head and said that Wolsey would be perfect for me (they were right in the end… damn them 🙂 ). Although I still to this day wish I had listened to my parents and done it. I didn’t realize they were right and she had a thing for me at the time.

The first time I noticed Jessie’s Girl as a song (it had been out for awhile) was when I was sitting in Wolsey and Doug’s living room. Doug had just been an asshole to Wolsey and stomped off. Wolsey was sitting there looking annoyed and frustrated and the song started playing. That was the soundtrack of how I felt about her for a couple of years. For some reason the song kept playing that summer too, even though it had been out for a few years.

I never wanted to jeopardize our friendship though. Even with how fucked up my childhood was (or maybe because of it and what my dad did try to instill) I tried to remain the paladin, true to my word and to my friend.

The other large part I didn’t act was that I truly truly loved being Wolsey’s friend and I never felt like I was in the “friend zone”. In fact I valued our friendship above everything and didn’t want to jeopardize that.  It is why I can’t stand friend zone people and incels. The other person owes you nothing (and Wolsey absolutely owed me nothing, I was just happy to get Wolsey’s friendship).

That is how it was for nine months as my best friend (well he had sort of drifted away as being my best friend to be replaced by Wolsey) and his girlfriend lived together and I would go over and visit. As a side note, in all fairness Wolsey was interested in me, showed me several clues but I was too shy/resistant I didn’t follow up. My romantic soundtrack for that time period was Jessie’s Girl.

I do realize now as a fully mentally formed adult that the song can be problematic, but I still like it and it reminds me of when my husband Wolsey was a pretty girl dating my best friend before she (he) usurped that spot and replaced Doug as my best friend.

Disclaimer Note 1: Let me get a clarification out here, I do refer to my current husband in historical terms as my friend, partner, etc. I also refer to him as my “wife” or “girlfriend” sometimes when talking about a memory when I was younger that happened before his transition. Sometimes I do this because it gets hard tracking who is who in those stories.

He is ok with this, as I am ok with him referring to me as his husband or boyfriend when recounting memories. It is hard with pronouns, especially when in context memories and of referring to us both as people we no longer are (myself as a boy back then and my husband as a girl back then). Just a FYI, he is ok with the pronoun use.

My Wife is Wonderful!

My wife is once again wonderful… I don’t think I tell people that enough.

Two Posts, Two Days

I know, this is a surprise for me as well, but a second post in as many days. Its like a Christmas miracle. I just thought I would try and keep up on reporting my boring daily life as I go.

Yesterday was a normal payday. The money slipped into and out of my bank account so fast I couldn’t even be sure I had it. Paid a little on credit, got the wife a haircut/bleach and dyed my hair black. I am now the evil whisper, a coworker thinks I need to grow back my goatee. Maybe I will, it will complete the look at least.

Work is going fairly well honestly. Another coworker of mine got hired at the DCAA. She is taking a 5% paycut this year, but after one year with the feds she will shoot up to GS-11. This means she will be making about 10k more than me. In another year she will be a GS-12 and that will pay about 20k more than me a year. She will wrap up the quick rise as a GS-13 in 3 years and that is making about 40k more than me. The DCAA opened up application process through October for next year. I think I will apply. It means if I got hired in the next round it would be about this time of year and I will have hit my fifth year here at SAO, thus vesting the retirement I have put in.

Gaming life is going pretty slow at the moment. I had to put one of our games on hold until fall at least (I suspect when I start the second game again in the fall it will be Shadowrun, I just can’t get enough interest in the GURPS Partisan game). Also in the three months wife and I are developing the online capability. I know I have several people available online, so we will see how that goes.

Relationship wise things are great. The wife and I are getting along fabulously, and I go on vacation starting Saturday. We also went to the Everett Poly Munch last Friday. That was pretty cool. We met several nice people and we may do breakfast with them at the Hitching Post on Sunday. We also got invited to a lot of different events. I am still a little nervous about that, but I am taking it slowly and if I don’t feel comfortable I won’t do it.

Well, thats it for now. Better get to work 🙂

Early Morning Rambling

Things are going pretty well, today I have to go with my dad for an MRI on his back but everyone seems in pretty good spirits.

Last night I had a dream I haven’t had in over a decade. I dreamt I had joined the priesthood. Now here is a little background, I grew up Catholic (Irish Catholic, the priest we were closest too had some pagan type ideas and I have since found out its a “Irish” tendency to lump in weird things) I honestly don’t think its an Irish thing anymore, I think rather its a tradition that may have started with the Irish but has become more of a Poor Catholic sorta belief.

When I was growing up, I had always considered the priesthood, this sounds wierd but my parents told me they would totally support that decision when I was younger (the reason looking back this sounds wierd is my family is comprised of Bikers, Nam Vets and criminals, but the whole family would have accepted that, and would have been completely supportive).

Between the ages of 17-20 I had seriously considered attending a Seminary (the only time in that time period it wasn’t something I considered was when me and Sage (my wife) were going out the first time. When she dumped me I almost immediately joined but fortunately for my current circumstance my father talked me out of it and told me I should wait until it wasn’t a reaction from a breakup. Sage and I got back together so it was a moot point, but its something I have always considered when I was younger.

Last night I dreamt something happened to Sage (not a break up situation, more like a death I believe) and I joined the seminary after whatever happened, happened. Now that I am awake and writing this down most of the dream is disappearing like smoke, but I felt I should write down what I could.

I think it made an impression on me because I haven’t even considered myself following Catholicism for a long time. I have strayed for a long time from the church and I honestly don’t think I can go back. There is so much hypocrisy in the church, not only the church but all of Christianity is built on hypocrisy. Don’t get me wrong, the message is a wonderful message full of love and I am not at all faulting the message. Rather I am faulting the religious hierarchy for becoming a bloated, hypocritical bastard that has nothing to do with the religious belief and who instead of promoting the word of love now promotes intolerance.

This goes for all actual churches, Christianity, Islam, Judaism all are hypocrites, all of these religions have become shadows of what the “word” is. They all teach the opposite of their base beliefs and I totally have become disgusted with all Monotheisms.

Actually thinking about this, I think all of this thought pattern may have sprung from watching the Hercules marathon yesterday on sci-fi channel. Yesterday I sat watching and thought how much more relaxing it would be to believe in a pantheon of gods, all who had human foilables and you could understand why god/nature/destiny could be cruel and/or kind.

I have considered looking deeper into Paganism, my only problem with that is most of the current groups in  my area do the “new age” paganism, they mix the different deities together in prayers and worship (like I have heard several members of a local group at the same time they offer to Diana, Demeter, Pele, Inana) The funny thing is these groups don’t realize that the goddesses/gods they worship in historical context were believed to be highly jealous of each other and it would have been an insult to worship them together.

I hate the “new age” movement, I would rather some old fashioned paganism as in worshiping only one pantheon and kinda sticking to something “old” rather then reinventing old religions into a mishmash of separate deities into one worship. New age also bothers me (at least the group around here) with the “man bashing” they tend to be middle aged women who are bitter with men and in their “circles” do the same exact thing to men that they are bitter were done to them.

Sexism is just wrong either way, both sexes have something to offer and I dont think having a penis makes you better or worse then not having one.

hmm, my family was buddhist for 5 years, that went nicely, maybe I will look into buddhism.

Well bus is coming, have to run, sorry to only get half a thought down, just rambling today.

*note from 9/2018… wow I had some entitled man privilege there about sexism on both sides…

Red headed meth surprise

Well this morning I left my house at 7am to go visit my parents before school. Things proceeded well until my trip home via the bus.  Now let me give you some background on the two buses that go by our trailer. The two routes are just mirrors of each other, they only go once an hour and they mostly provide transportation for 2 mental health services.

What does this mean to you you may ask? It means the bus is always full of people who have mental problems. Dont get me wrong, I never have a problem riding the bus with people who have problems, some of the nicest people are mentally handicapped. The problem is many of these “head cases” are not physically handicapped (or mentally, brain wise handicapped) rather they are drug users who are ordered by the court system to go to counseling. This results in an unusual amount of memorable experiences on this bus route.

Well at 9am on my way home I am sitting in the back of the bus, trying not to notice that the entire bus smells like ass, its 90 degrees in there and many people who dont shower (not cuz they are homeless, just that they are dirty). My attention was drawn to a red head that came on the bus. Now something you should know right off, I have always been attracted to red heads, they seem to be attracted back to me, and they almost always are psycho and the worst possible thing for me.

Now this red head walks down a mostly empty bus and decides to sit right beside me. She turns to me and smiles. Now she would be considered cute, she was probably taller by an inch or two then Wife she was incredibly thin and had huge breasts (I pretty much tagged her as a stripper at first so I figure those are fake, which is fine). After she sits I notice she probably hasn’t showered in awhile.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the smell of girls but she had an acidy smell that I associate with someone who is coming down from a hit of acid (they have a particular odor, not stinky BO, its more of a chemical smell), I have also noticed this smell on people who do a lot of Meth. Well she turned to me and smiled and I noticed she wasn’t just thin, but Auschwitz thin. Her skin was drawn back against her body and I could have probably fit her entire body under my shirt. I also noticed her hair was unwashed and had a greasy texture in it. She wore jeans and a t-shirt but she was way too skinny (I love girls who have hips).

The first thing she does is turn to me, smile and then run her hand through my blue hair. She muttered something about how cute it was. I was frozen in shock. This was the first time I disliked having my hair touched like that (a lot of times the Japanese exchange students, mostly girls, ask to touch it and then titter and never had a problem with that). She then asked if I had a cigarette. I told her no I didnt and I went back to looking out the window. After a couple minutes I realized she was continuing to speak to me. She asked me what was I doing tonight?

My first words out of my mouth was “Not you”

I then realized how rude that was but she didnt catch it, or understand it, or even care (maybe she then thought it was a challenge). She then continued to talk to me and occasionally brush her hand against me. Now normally I am a very crude, and forward man. I can dish out insults and I have never had a problem stepping up to the biggest guy if needed. However this girl was freaking me out. Fortunately her stop (at the minimart I used to work at) came and she got off. She muttered something about maybe seeing me later. Then my stop came and I got off the bus and ran home to the wife. This made me definately happy I was married.

That was a definite strange encounter and it just shows me redheads are my bane.