First time in a long time

I was awoken this morning at 1:28am. It sort of caught me off guard really, I haven’t been woken up like this in a few months. Even now almost a half an hour later I am still disorientated. I even considered doing a video post, mainly because I never do, but I saw what I looked like and gave up on that.

The dream that woke me up is gone now. I am sure it was caused by a pile of different things, including work, parental items, meeting new people, and maybe just being old. Overall I am sure it is just another anxiety dream. Nothing new, but frustrating nonetheless.

The strange part to it really wasn’t the dream though. When I woke up I laid in bed for a little bit. I couldn’t move, but I swear I could hear things. Now, its fairly warm right now so our windows are on and we have fans all over the house going. But it sounded like someone was in our apartment and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Unfortunately I couldn’t get up either, the sleep paralysis hadn’t worn off all the way. So  I laid there wondering if someone was inside the apartment, or if the fan was carrying voices up from the under-apartment parking area (which happens all the time anyways).

It is funny though, for a brief moment I wondered if there were people in the apartment, if I would be able to move to stop them from taking stuff. Yet I still couldn’t work out of the sleep paralysis (I know it has a name, but I can’t remember it and evidently I can’t be bothered to google it). I also considered I could still be asleep enough that my mind was in a dream state while I was in a waking state (which is probably another way to say the sleep paralysis thing I guess). The one other thought that bothered me was maybe I was having a psychotic break and that what I was hearing wasn’t real at all…. that was a weird thought to have.

Well now that I have been up for 30 minutes things have mellowed out. I am in the living room listening to the rain fall, oh and the hamster running in his wheel thing. My anxiety or whatever it was has pretty much passed. So I will try and go back to bed for a few more hours of sleep, after having posted a useless entry 🙂

PS: its Hypnopomic or postormtal form sleep paralysis (I had to look it up here: http://www.stanford.edu/~dement/paralysis.html)

Christmas 2003

First off, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Merry Solistice to everyone.

Yesterday went well, saw my parents and both siblings and my niece Cass and nephew Josh. Got home and played some E&B and roleplayed some. I woke up this morning choking though. Sometimes I will wake up choking and unable to breathe.

We have always wondered if I sleep apnea plus something is going on with the valve on my stomach and sometimes I get reflux. The worst times (like this morning) are when I get reflux and it spills over into my breathing. But I woke up choking, waking up poor Wifey (which I am sure didnt please her) The choking went away and as I laid down I get a sudden anxiety attack like I was having earlier this month. I got up, showered and now its gone, but now my shoulder is cramped.

lol Merry Christmas it is I guess 🙂

Today’s  plan is to watch court shows, watch some movies and be stranded because there is no buses.

When I was talking to my parents they may move out of county, this means I do need to fix my car or get a new one if they do it. Even though it makes me nervous they might move out of range for me (in case there is an emergency) I think in the end it might be better for them to get away from stresses of other people (most especially my sister). It would give them a chance to relax and be self sufficent. LOL I wonder if this is how parents feel about children.

Well my shoulder/back aches enough I am going to go lay down on the couch, talk soon…

Oh, and did I say Merry Xmas/Hannukah/Solstice to all of you?