A lot of people don’t understand why I am not satisfied with my current employment. I get paid more than I probably ever will again, for a job that is much easier than any job I will have in the future. I have many reasons I am not satisfied, one of the reasons for my dislike is the travel.
I realize it is normal for a lot of couples to spend time away from each other. I hear from some people “that’s healthy”, but not for me. Before this job, over 22 years of marriage I had only been away from my husband for maybe three days at most. Since I started my job in 2014 however I have spent 4+ weeks a year away from him, the pay, the ease of job isn’t worth it to me.
It is probably partially because my parents didn’t spend time away from each other. The only time they did was when it was forced by outside forces (primarily if my dad had to do any time in jail). Other than that, in their entire 46-year marriage they never spent a day away from each other.
I hate being away from him, I would rather work in fast food, living paycheck to paycheck then to spend a night from him. Eventually I will be in a position to change this situation. I won’t wait for some “future date” when all my student loans will be paid off, it will be sooner than later, much sooner.
However, for now at least I have to take a flight this morning to Atlanta where I will stay for five days (one weekend day and four weekdays). I will just be counting down the hours until I can come home to him.
We flew down last Sunday, at a very very early morning hour to Phoenix, Arizona. We started by leaving the house at 4am, much to Wolsey’s chagrin.
We arrived at the airport, with no caffeine in our system and with only an hour to wait until we fly out. Fortunately I went to the local Starbucks to get my caffeinated fix. Trust me, no one wants me uncaffienated.
We got down to Phoenix and for the first time ever I was in Arizona. I stepped off the plane and was hit by a wave of heat that was unexpected. While it was in the high 30s in Seattle, but they were having a heatwave in Phoenix and it was in the mid-90s and unlike Atlanta, it was a desert. The last time I had been in a place that warm and dry was when I was 15/16 and we were homeless as a family, living in a car and making Lake Tahoe our place (it was when we went down to Carson City/Reno).
We finally got to the hotel (a La Quinta which I have liked, not sure why my coworkers hate the chain), changed into short’s and decided we were hungry. There was Mimi’s Cafe just a block and a half up and we thought it would be a great place. There we ordered lunch (well actually I ordered some sort of specialized waffles).
It wasn’t bad at all, the prices were Seattle average (11-13 each). I probably wouldn’t recommend it for locals though, we didn’t realize that Seattle prices are high in Phoenix, and I wouldn’t recommend paying top dollar for a not top dollar place. The waitress was nice though, and we found out she had lived in Everett for six years.
We then headed back to the hotel, where we promptly laid down and napped.
We got up, decided we were still hungry (we hadn’t eaten large meals at Mimi’s) so we hit Red Robin and found the food to be extra greasy (unlike our normal Red Robins we live next too, oh and yes I realize in general the food is a bit greasy, but this was above and beyond).
Finally we just hid out in the hotel room, the temperature was spiking even hotter.
The next morning was pretty simple, we got some waffles from La Quinta’s breakfast bar then went to the doctor appointment (to read about it at https://accidentallygay.wordpress.com/?p=1057 ).
We then went to Tia Shorty’s and I had the absolute best tacos in my life. The shredded beef just melted in my mouth, the spices were wonderful and I am glad I ended my Arizona food sampling there as it left it on a really good note.
We then got back to the airport for a later then we like flight (didn’t leave until almost 7pm) and we got into town after 10pm. With the Lyft ride back to the house we were in bed by midnight.
Overall the trip was a stupendous success, not because we went and saw a bunch of things, but rather because Wolsey gets his surgery 14 months earlier then normal (end of May/beginning of June 2017). So this trip was fantastic!
If you want to go see the photo gallery from the trip, go here.
This morning I was reading an article about the idea of reducing the work week from 45+ hours a week down to 30. The idea is it would be healthier for employees and allow for a more well balanced work/life experience.
This is all stuff that is fairly straight forward and has been proven in many many studies. Stress and work anxiety is a huge reason for health issues (including cancer), it is also responsible for incredibly stress between partners and family members, almost as much as money is a problem.
All of this seems pretty logical to me. Personally once we get our credit cards paid off when Jello graduates, this might be a great thing to do. We could easily live off 30 hours each and still have a savings.
What caught me off guard was the vitriol that the commenters went on about. How it was only for lazy people, how it would destroy business, etc. Not even addressing the fact that there are countries where this is the norm and it hasn’t destroyed them. I keep wondering why the anger and taking it personally? It just seems weird that people would be so vitriolic.
Do they feel it invalidates the whole idea of consumerism? Does it put to question our desire to chain ourselves to more than a quarter of a million dollars of debt for something we don’t actually own until we pay it off? I have rants about those as well, but honestly I won’t go into that here, they deserve their own posts.
Then again, I know I get push back from possible employers because I don’t want to work 55 hour weeks as a norm (or even 45 hours). I personally would rather get paid less and work a max of 40 hours a week (and honestly once Jello is out of school I would be down for 32).
Does this make me lazy? No I don’t think so, but it does make me different then most of the commenters evidently.
Woke up early today (but not nearly as early as the rest of the week) a little anxious about the work situation. We are fine with the unemployment, even still have a little in savings, but the string of interviews that haven’t gone anywhere just bugs me.
Now, I completely realize that mid level government jobs are harder to get into, and the fact that I have a 60% interviewing rate with them does reassure me I am not horrible in the eyes of employers. However, I am not used to it. Before getting into this profession I would have a job within two weeks of being unemployed (not necessarily a job I really want, but something). The problem is professional jobs, and more especially government jobs are slow to get, and with the shutdown/budget crises it is fairly hard to get a job. I will eventually get on, but until then I am starting my look at other options.
I have started putting apps out at other non-governmental businesses. I suspect I will get interviews fairly quick. I am going down to the local Robert Half office on Friday. They want me to come in and work for Robert Half (basically a head hunter/placement service/ temp service for accounting professionals). They offer benefits, medical, etc and the person signs up for contracts that are generally between six months and a year between jobs. So it is definitely an option and I think I need to look at it.
I am not sure this is the direction I will permanently want to go, but the timing is sort of good. Wolsey graduates in June (or August if classes don’t work like we hope), that gives me 9-11 months before he is out working. If I am temping like this, he can get whatever job he wants, wherever he wants. This means we can move down to Vancouver, Portland, Seattle, anywhere since I don’t have a job I would consider permanent. So maybe its the perfect setup.
Overall, I think today I am just whining that I am not working at the moment. We are doing well financially considering the situation. I have a great wife, family and overall things are doing well. So maybe I should wrap this up with a “Hell Ya!” 🙂
I have been unemployed for exactly three months now. I figure I will go into detail on the problems of my old job once I have a new job and am safely employed.
Yesterday however I had something unusual occur. I have had four employers circling me as a possible employee. One of them was a job that was relatively low pay (about 40% pay cut for me) but it sounded cool when I applied. I went into the interview a couple of weeks ago and found some things I didn’t like about it (once again I will go into it when I have a new job for reasons that will become clear later in this post). After the interview I decided I did not want that job, unless I had no other options (and then I will still go look for something else after starting for them, unless I am stunned and find I like the job).
After that interview I had an interview with the Insurance Commissioner as a Financial Examiner this last Monday. Basically I would go in and audit insurance companies and brokers (especially brokers) and ensure they are abiding by state law. I want this job, it fits with my personality and is better paying then my job as an Assistant State Auditor. I was hoping they want me as well.
So on Tuesday I got a phone message from the job I don’t want, asking me to call them. Since I am on unemployment I have to be careful about refusing work, although this job is fairly low pay and lots of travel so I am sure it would be considered acceptable.
I avoided returning the call on Tuesday, and on Wednesday the Insurance Commissioner indicated they wanted me to come in for a second interview the following Monday. Bazinga… That is the job I want and things are looking optimistic. Right after I got done talking to the OIC, I got a call from the job that I don’t want. I figured what the hell, I would answer.
Now, first let me say that the manager for the job I don’t want seems nice. The parameters of the job is what made me unsure, not the people that interviewed me. She was happy to hear me answer and told me they wanted to hire me. She seemed surprised when I asked up front what the wages offered were. She told me, and they were about 40% less then my last job. I told her that wouldn’t work for me at all.
I guess I was spurred by the fact that I had that second job interview, so I pushed it. I told her that I couldn’t accept the position for less than 25% increase on her offer. She seemed surprised (not mad, just surprised) that I hadn’t hesitated for asking for money (this is a state job, so I know what the benefits are). After a few moments where I explained that I knew what the payscale was and that they would have to start me higher on that scale (they were trying to offer the lowest scale). I explained I have a certain level of income I need to support my spouse and the fact is her offer after taxes would be about what I make on unemployment. After a few minutes she said she completely understood.
This is where I followed it up with another item. I told her I wanted to be up front and that even with the increase I couldn’t give her an answer at the moment. I told her that I was a finalist with the Insurance Commissioner and that the payscale for them started at about where her agency ended (and I probably wont be offered the lowest). She seemed surprised and impressed. The impressed part is what surprised me the most. She seemed even more eager to hire me. She told me she understood, they really want me and she would go to bat for me with HR to get me an increase. She just asked to let her know when I know if I take the OIC job, then she can push for a raise for me.
The whole reason for this post is that it was weird. I was dismissive of the offer, countered with a number 25% higher then what she offered and told her even with that she was my second choice. She was even more interested in hiring me.
Wolsey was there the whole time listening (my spouse for those who aren’t familiar). Wolsey said I had a lot of confidence in my voice and that the prospective manager’s response is really common for that kind of confidence. I am not normally confident, and it was a weird feeling that I was so uninterested and dismissive that someone wanted me even more after that. Wolsey explained this is why sometimes assholes get really interesting and highly sought after mates, because the confidence exuded is what people are attracted to. Wolsey suggested I keep doing that with everything.
I guess that was my first real bout of self-confidence in over a year (my last job hired me on October 8, 2012 and my confidence and self outlook has suffered greatly since accepting that job). YAY for self confidence.
I am not even sure where to start with this. Yesterday Wolsey needed to pick up some work out clothes. We drove by a Wal-Mart and pulled in (I hate Wal-Mart but with being unemployed it is hard to shop somewhere else. Once we pulled in, all hell started to break lose.
Here is a shortened video of the incident (after she attempted to punch Wolsey and shoved me):
It started with two cars in front of us being trapped in the car aisle (one trying to back out of a spot, another just trying to move forward). A car in front of all of us had stopped and some lady had ran over to the driver side window and was just chatting with him.
The parked car honked, then the car in front of us honked and the car that was blocking us started flipping everyone off. It’s true, at this point we shouldn’t have become involved, but we also participated in the flipping off. The car that was blocking us off pulled into a parking spot further up (we shall call this the “brother’s car” for future revealed reasons).
We continued to move forward and the lady who was also holding us up started walking behind our car screaming that the car was her brother and damn it she would kick our asses. She even threatened to pull a gun and shoot us. Now, if you look at the video/pictures I wasn’t very worried about this, but we did return words.
We ended up parking (crazy lady disappeared) and we got out to head in. I notice ahead of us the husband/boyfriend (shall hereafter refer to him as husband) saw us and called to his wife. She immediately stomped out and was screaming at us. The husband fell back and had a weird look on his face (he must have assumed that I wasn’t going to get involved as the crazy lady was focused on Wolsey).
Crazy lady stepped forward and threw a punch at Wolsey. I stepped forward and put myself between the two of them and told her to back her ass up. She shoved me. She isn’t a small lady and it was a pretty hard shove but she must have realized that I am 6’4” and 280lbs and it didn’t move me. She began screaming at me.
This entire time I was staring at the husband. I was more worried about him and so I watched him as I told the lady to back off and I was calling the cops because she assaulted me. I honestly never respond that way usually (if it was a guy and I acted like I used to, it might have resulted me popping him in the face). It was a woman in front of me and I wasn’t going to do anything physical to her so the only thing that came to mind was calling the cops.
We continued walking towards Wal-Mart (I wanted as many witnesses as possible after the issue with ziggy stardust a few years ago I don’t want someone to lie about me). The husband immediately kept trying to get crazy lady to leave, but it was difficult.
I ended up calling the cops, and the lady went into Wal-Mart. The 911 operator told me to wait there and said she would send a cop (I wasn’t sure I wanted a cop to come, I didn’t need someone to arrest her, I just needed a way to de-escalate her). The operator said to have to cop talk to me anyways.
So I ended up outside Wal-Mart waiting for a cop while Wolsey got his workout clothing. The crazy lady came out and screamed some more, we acted like we were filming her and I explained a cop was on the way and she was welcome to wait for him. She then threatened again that I would regret it, but her husband rushed her off into the parking lot.
The cop arrived, talked with me for a bit and I explained I didn’t want to press charges (I don’t need that drama) and he agreed it was fine to let it go. I just wanted to make sure that crazy lady was on record so she couldn’t do any accusations later. Wolsey came out with his clothing and we went home.
I hate drama, and I need to once again work on not engaging the crazy people.
I just awoke from a dream a little while ago. I had to move around, take a shower and think about it. Even though a lot of the dream has dissipated I was just going to write out what I now remember here.
I had died, not sure how, not sure how old I was, etc. I do remember walking to a coffee shop and sitting at a table with a old school AD&D sourcebook (I think it was the Drow handbook, but not sure). I was waiting for someone. I would see some living people walking by, they didn’t seem to notice me. I felt proud that they couldn’t tell I was dead yet. For some reason I kept thinking of 1989, the year I graduated high school.
I kept waiting for someone I grew up with (Doug, Jay, Ted, Wifey, Joe, etc). Occasionally dead people would walk in, a lot of them in a lot worse shape then me. I was still proud that I wasn’t being impeded with pieces of me falling off. Everyone sat in this coffee shop. The living did seem to notice the worst off (rotted, damaged, etc) as being dead and slightly avoided them, but still not me.
After a long bit of waiting more I could feel it was affecting me, it didnt really scare me too much for some reason, it just annoyed the hell out of me. I still had that AD&D manual/sourcebook and I was still waiting. It didn’t hurt as if I could feel the pain of rotting, it was just more of an annoyance that made me work harder to do what I wanted to do.
After some more time, some of the living members in the coffee shop exclaimed “Look at that poor one”, I looked up and outside the window was another zombie holding a kitten (not sure if it was a dead kitten or not). That was the person I was waiting for, so I got up, and walked over to let them in, I was very happy to see them (maybe it was the wife, it felt like something/somebody I was eagerly awaiting for.
Thats when I woke up.
Now, it doesnt seem big, but I felt worried when I woke up, alot of my older anxieties were working on me when I woke up (alone, aging, death, etc) but for some reason during the dream itself it didnt present itself as a bad thing.
I am sure the date and coffee shop are related to the high school kids I saw at Denny’s last night. I also think the dream might heavily have to do with my coffee I was drinking then at 10:30 at night. I think I need to change that.
Ok, most of the dream I dont remember.
What I do remember is I was hunting in this old abandoned warehouse several evil “fey” like creatures (smaller then human with abilities but looked human). I caught one peacefully enough. The next time I was standing on a grate. I felt a needle pierce my foot and someone inject something that burned into my foot from below.
I turned around and it was another “fey” except this fey looked exactly like Sage except her entire eyes were black and she was mostly naked. She laughed at me and said she had just injected me with Actinic Keratosis. I turned to her and triumphantly said “AHAH!!!! I am immune to Actinic Keratosis” I eventually captured here and she attempted to bribe me with nakedness (I wont go any further there).
I still snicker when I think I yelled “AHAH!!! I am immune to Actinic Keratosis” its just silly.
editors note: Actinic Keratosis is red scaly lesions usually on face/hands/head, I am sure this is from my job where I transcribe medical procedures for the doc and the PA.
I just woke up from a peculiar dream.
I dreamt I walked down this elaborate stone staircase onto a huge dance room floor (I am talking classical dancing type floor). It was a huge costume ball. People dressed in different things, silks, satins, wool and I walked up and danced with this girl in mask. As we danced, she shifted her appearance across the spectrum, going from beautiful to old, female to male, heavier to lighter and the whole time changing her appearance/costume into different forms and looks.
I got the feeling I had a few small separate dreams each time she shifted, almost as if viewing a different life (but upon waking I could not recall them) The entire time it seemed as if they were the same person, but not physically looking the same, just the same person over different lives. Eventually she shifted to a stone statue that still danced with me. Finally she changed into my wife and all I could think as I was filled with love.
Its always been you….”
Those were the last words and thoughts I woke up with.
As I laid there, I don’t think the dream itself was a bad dream, but it felt important (unfortunately already little bits of it are drifting away like an illusion or mirage) it felt like the dream had an importance to it.
For some reason as I laid there though, I got an anxiety attack much like the ones I would get last Christmas time, I got up, used the restroom and then laid back down. By the time I regained my thoughts the dream was quickly leaving (There were a lot more details in the costuming/masks she wore). The music was beautiful and it just felt important so I decided I needed to get up and report the dream before I lost it completely.
probably stupid, I know I know, especially the anxiety attack.
Not even sure where the anxiety attack came from after the dream, the dream wasn’t horrible, it wasn’t filled with anything bad at all. Actually it just felt like my love for Sage, it was as if things suddenly make sense. The anxiety attack I am not even sure the form it manifested, it was nothing my waking mind could pin as a fear (nothing like my wifeleaving, not at all like the fear last winter of the loss of my parents, nor of eventual death) it was just a nameless worry.
Sorry, I am exhausted and now rambling, I just needed to write it down.
I had a bizarre dream last night.
Me and Wifey were riding the bus. We kept riding the bus even though one would get off and then the other would, and then one would get back on, etc. While we were riding the bus some young girls came over and hit on me, explaining I was way older then them and it wouldn’t be appropriate considering I am married.
Then we were riding the bus again (still night time). W had her shirt partially open and I could see her bra. On her bra was a little sticky note that said “Go Ahead and Open Me”. Then we were back to talking to people on the bus. Evidently me and W ran a nightclub and we were promoting it.
Then I woke up,