Dreams: Convention Bathroom

A rough few weeks and when I finally don’t take something to help me sleep I get weird/uncomfortable dreams again.

I was in a large mall/office building like place. I think the husband was with me and we knew we were being chased and the other people had weapons. There were twisting hallways, large open spaces and now that I think about it, it might have been a convention center.

Looking around we decided to dive into the bathroom. A large public bathroom that had a lot of stalls that were interconnected with lots of ways in and out of the bathroom.

Our pursuers were running around outside and we could hear the sound of impacts on some of the stall doors. I think in the dream they were supposed to be guns, but they sounded like bb guns bouncing off the doors rather than real weapons.

We kept dodging into different large stalls (they could hold half a dozen people hiding so obviously they weren’t realistic. Every once in awhile the weapons being fired would pierce the door and we would fire back… seemingly real in the dream but now I am fairly sure were firing back things that were more like bb guns as well.

Eventually the dream shifted and we were out in the main areas again. Lots of large convention like hallways filled with people. There I saw Gabe (not his partner Alex though). It was weird because they shouldn’t be there and it caught me off guard for whatever reason.

Gabe in the middle holding an item, I am on the left and hubby is on the right (both pre-transition by 12+ years so we are reversed gender look then we have now). Alex is behind Gabe.

We talked and got in line like it was a convention then, and something bothered me enough to wake me up…

… but now as I sit here typing with the cat on my lap, it is all sort of fading. I have been up too long and not writing. I will need to start writing sooner next time.

I suspect we look exactly like this right now (this was taken last month), not shaven, tired and Tally is out like a light on me.

So that is it, you get stuck with vague descriptions of what is now a vague dream. Maybe you will have better luck next time!

Dreams: Stuck at an airport

As a background, I haven’t talked to my sister at all since May of 2020, and only four times before that after my parents died in 2016 (even before that it was less than a couple times a year).

I was somehow traveling through an airport in a super cold place, but it was also a desert and ended up at the airport. I got trapped at the airport without my credit card. I had somehow misplaced it, or someone had taken it.

At this airport is a giant pool. Above this pool is a lobby that isn’t walled off from it. It sits like a mezzanine overlooking the pool, no wall, no railing, no nothing. There is at the edge of the water a concrete pillar that goes out of the water and up to the second floor lobby. A ladder runs up that pillar from the water.

Somehow while at the airport, looking for the credit card as I meet various people we are also living there above that lobby. It was a similar setup to where I lived as a child in Everett in an old mansion-like building. This whole time I kept rifling the lobby’s couches looking for my credit cards. I kept finding other people’s credit cards but not mine, so we were still there stuck for the entire dream.

At some point my sister showed up and she was angry that I kept jumping off the lobby ledge and into the pool, swim around then go back up to the lobby via the ladder on the pillar. She was also carrying around some huge stuffed animal, but I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was or why.

She decided to go tell my parents on me in the apartment area above the pool and lobby and locked the door to the room they were in (it was the door to the bathroom of that apartment from my childhood, sort of weird). She was tattling on me or trying to get me in trouble.

Meanwhile, I found my credit card but found myself the next moment on the concrete pillar, but it was a lot taller. Instead of being about 10 feet up above the pool, it was 40 or 50 feet up from the pool, and about 30 feet up above the lobby. The ladder down wasn’t accessible easily and I was afraid to try and climb down it for fear of falling

That is where my dream ended, with me trapped on the pillar, in an airport, above a pool 50 feet below (that I didn’t think was deep enough to dive into) having been desperately looking for a lost credit card that I finally found, but also now worried my parents were going to be mad at me for whatever reason.

Yes, it was disjointed and I am processing shit. I haven’t talked to her in 8 months and not much before then. I have just heard she got married a month ago, and then her husband passed away a week ago (unexpectedly). So undoubtedly it has a lot to do with hearing about her.

I have avoided talking about most of my issues with her, but honestly that is probably going to be done here at some point. My therapist is slowly digging into my family, and evidently I need to vent here.