Dream: It has always been you

I just woke up from a peculiar dream.

I dreamt I walked down this elaborate stone staircase onto a huge dance room floor (I am talking classical dancing type floor). It was a huge costume ball. People dressed in different things, silks, satins, wool and I walked up and danced with this girl in mask. As we danced, she shifted her appearance across the spectrum, going from beautiful to old, female to male, heavier to lighter and the whole time changing her appearance/costume into different forms and looks.

I got the feeling I had a few small separate dreams each time she shifted, almost as if viewing a different life (but upon waking I could not recall them) The entire time it seemed as if they were the same person, but not physically looking the same, just the same  person over different lives.  Eventually she shifted to a stone statue that still danced with me. Finally she changed into my wife and all I could think as I was filled with love.

“Its you…..
 Its always been you….”

Those were the last words and thoughts I woke up with.

As I laid there, I don’t think the dream itself was a bad dream, but it felt important (unfortunately already little bits of it are drifting away like an illusion or mirage) it felt like the dream had an importance to it.

For some reason as I laid there though, I got an anxiety attack much like the ones I would get last Christmas time, I got up, used the restroom and then laid back down. By the time I regained my thoughts the dream was quickly leaving (There were a lot more details in the costuming/masks she wore). The music was beautiful and it just felt important so I decided I needed to get up and report the dream before I lost it completely.

probably stupid, I know I know, especially the anxiety attack.

Not even sure where the anxiety attack came from after the dream, the dream wasn’t horrible, it wasn’t filled with anything bad at all. Actually it just felt like my love for Sage, it was as if things suddenly make sense. The anxiety attack I am not even sure the form it manifested, it was nothing my waking mind could pin as a fear (nothing like my wife leaving, not at all like the fear last winter of the loss of my parents, nor of eventual death) it was just a nameless worry.

Sorry, I am exhausted and now rambling, I just needed to write it down.